Next stop… Whores!
Posts tagged york
Believe in the Magic…
Dec 16th
I received a Christmas card from our biggest fan whore stalker FrankieRose today. I don’t know how this sneaky little bitch got my address, but if she ever shows up here without a bottle of champes in hand she dies!… oh and a York peppermint patty! That’s right, I said it!
What I find interesting is how alike the troll family is. Just recently Benutty was trying to convince me that he was more like an elephant than a troll…. mmhmm… more like an elephant-troll hybrid… but then the other Benutty, FrankieRose, just happens to send me a holiday card with an elephant on it… curious isn’t it?
Cute card though… loves it!
I’m Such A Good Friend
Apr 15th
This is why I’m a good friend. I’m sitting next to Nick and he wants to eat his York Peppermint Patty. I remind him of his diet. He lets me know that it’s only 140 calories and he’s prepared himself for it.
I tell him that it’s actually only 70 calories for him and he asks me why. I let him know that I’m eating half of it.
And that, ladies and trolls, is why I am a good friend.
You Know What I Hate?
Apr 13th
I hate that I bought a York peppermint patty the other day. Every time I open the refrigerator I see it staring at me. It’s saying “Opening me Nick… taste my sweet chocolate, and cool peppermint center”, and then I say “Eww.. Stop acting like Gary Jr.”. I do plan on eating it one of these days as a gift to myself for doing a good job on…. well something, so don’t get any ideas of coming over and taking it. I just don’t feel like parting with it, its mine, I found it, it came to me! Well… what if I’m angry, it’s your fault! It’s mine! My own. My precious.
The Variety Shop Strikes Again
Feb 21st
Last night some of the girls came over for shits n giggles… you know the usual. Benutty was an extra special mess last night, as he stopped by the Variety Shop on Clement & 4th Ave. on his way here. This was the result:
That wasn’t all though… He found my bag of York Pieces that I had bought Jay, opened it, and ate all but 4 pieces… After that he opened the bag of Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles, and a package of Sour Cream, and dip his chips into it. Eating it all!
The lesson here… Trolls are hungry fat messes. Beware.
Yorkburglar
Feb 2nd
We all know who the Hamburglar is, but do you know who the Yorkburglar is? No?
Well there is something you should know about our dear friend Gary Jr. Not only will he bust out in drag when you least expect it, but he is also a dirty thief! While on vacation recently I decided I wanted a nice refreshing York peppermint patty, so I picked one up while visiting the local market. I placed the patty in my room to eat at a later time, but when I went to get my refreshing treat it was missing. I had thought that maybe someone was hiding it from me as a cruel joke. I want that fucking patty damn it! Well no one ever confessed to taking it, or eating it or anything. I figured I lost is somehow, or maybe when I was wasted one night I ate it and didn’t remember. I totally forgot about it until recently.
I received a text message from a random number with these photos attached!!!
The Cow attacking my York
The cow eating my York!
That fucking cow ate my York! The lesson here kids is never leave chocolate where Gary Jr. can find it, or smell it.
Oh Gary Jr… Does this look familiar you fucking cow!
That's right… Your Kit-Kat
Yes.. It was quite tasty