Posts tagged vomit

When I was young my family and I would go to Disneyland once a year, but as we got older only my brothers and sister would go. My parents just stayed behind because it was cheaper for them not to go. There was this one time when my middle brother Kris couldn’t make it, so I brought my friend David with us. David had never been to Disneyland, and he was really excited to go.

While in the car heading to Disneyland, David started getting really quiet. I was thinking that he was just tired or something. While sitting in traffic on Interstate 5 in Los Angeles David suddenly shouts out…”I’m gonna throw up”. We all start yelling at my brother to pull over, but if you have ever been in traffic in Los Angeles at 8 in the morning then you know how hard it is to get over to the side of the road. With one lane left to get in before we could pull over David throws up all in his jacket. My sister sitting between us jumps up screaming in to my lap. It smelled like boiled beef. It was fucking disgusting.

So we got off the freeway, and went to some ghetto little store like MacFrugals or Pic n’ Save to get him new clothes. He told us that his mom made him eat a whole steak, and a huge bowl of white rice before he left that morning (yea he was Asian). So after he cleaned himself up and after we cleaned the car we headed back toward Disneyland.

For the rest of the day David smelled like puke, but I didn’t care because I was at Disneyland having a great time. For lunch I got these spicy skewers in Adventureland, and they were really delicious. Unfortunately my bowels didn’t agree with them very much, and picked the worst possible moment to start acting up. I was just about to get on the Pirates of the Caribbean, a 15-minute long ride. Through out the whole ride I was clinching my butt as hard as I could to keep everything in there from blowing up. When the ride ended I could barely get out of the boat because I was in so much pain. When we finally got to a bathroom I barely had time to get my pants down before it started shooting out. It was like opening a can of coke that someone had just shaken. Really it was gross. The rest of the day at Disneyland I couldn’t really go on any rides because I was in and out of the bathroom. The shits were getting worse as well… from a steamy watery deluge to sticky soft serve ice cream (and you know how those take forever to wipe). By the time we had to walk to the car at the end of the day my asshole was chafing like you wouldn’t believe. I had wiped my ass so much it was bleeding. For real. Fortunately I didn’t have to go anymore once we started driving home. Between my explosive shits, and David smelling like puke all day this was hands down the worst trip ever to Disneyland and the last with poor David.

And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.