Posts tagged the mall

I know less about religion than any other person you have probably ever met. For real though… you see before they had kids my parents had decided that they would not raise us with any specific religion because they were raised with different faiths. Plus they weren’t very religious to begin with. That being said, by the time I was 10 I had only ever been inside of a church once when my mom lit a candle for my grandfather who had just passed away. And yea… I don’t really get the whole lighting a candle thing either.

So one day I was riding my bike with my friend David, and we decided to ride all the way to the mall which was about 5 miles from my house. The mall was never really busy, so it was fun to ride around in the parking garage because you can pick up some speed going from floor to floor. As I was zooming along quickly a car began to back up, so to avoid hitting it I veered quickly away. I ended up losing control and falling off my bike landing right on my hands. My hands were full of dirt, rocks, and a little blood, plus they hurt a lot. I really wanted to wash my hands, and my friend David pointed out that there was a church right next to the parking garage and that they would probably have a bathroom I could use. (Don’t ask me why we didn’t just go into the mall. I have no idea)

We rode our bikes over to St. Mary’s Catholic Church which was the same church that I had been in before with my mom. I told David to watch my bike as I went in to find a bathroom. I walked into the church, and looked around. I saw the candles, the cross, all the seats, doors to what I now know are for confessionals, but I could not find a restroom. Surely people have to pee while they are attending services. “Hello” I said hoping that some nun or priest would come out of some secret door to help me, but nobody ever came. Lost, I decided to head back outside to go look for another place to wash my hands. As I was leaving though, I saw this little dish of water with a sponge in it. I figured that the church was like my mom, and didn’t want people coming in with dirty hands or something. I checked it out, and the sponge looked like it had gotten dirty before. I thought to myself “fuck it”, and picked up the sponge and started cleaning my hands with it. I dipped the sponge back in a couple times to clean it off and get more water on it. Before I knew it my hands were clean and I was ready to go.

When I met back up with my friend David I told him that the church didn’t have a damn bathroom, but that I found a wet sponge to clean my hands off with. He stared at me in shock and said “the holy water?”

So yea… I used holy water to clean my hands. Let’s be real though… that shit came out of the tap, so was it really that big of a deal?

And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.