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Posts tagged Taco Bell
Question of the Week (1/23 – 1/29)
Jan 23rd
This week’s question was asked by FrankieRose from Sacramento, CA:
Q: If a major network decided to do a reality show based on the Haus of Hunnies… and you all eventually voted each other off the show, who would win and why?
This is easy. Let me tell you a little story about what happened last night.
Gary Jr. was on his way to my house last night, when suddenly his stomach started growling at him. With no more cud left to chew mama was one hungry cow. So he began speeding on the Bay Bridge to get to San Francisco faster (I mean to get to Taco Bell faster). Poor Gary Jr. didn’t realize he was going 70mph in a 50mph zone… the only thing on his mind were meximelts, two supreme tacos, a mexican pizza, a gordita, a bean burrito (no onions of course) and big fat bucket of original recipe chicken. Suddenly lights appeared in his rear view mirror, and to his disgust (and to his stomachs disgust) he was being pulled over by a cop.
This bitch receives his ticket and proceeds to my house for fun n games. When he gets here he is all flustered, and pissed off for two reasons. 1- he got a ticket that is going to cost him $201 dollars, and 2- mama’s gut is still hungry. I tried foolishly to make Gary Jr. laugh because after all laughter heals all wounds. How wrong I was, for I was about to learn what really heals all wounds for Gary Jr. Just as I mentioned Benutty’s horrifying cellulite thighs, Gary Jr. spins around (which took longer than you would think), flares his cow nostrils, and kicks me in the balls.
For the next 5 minutes all I saw was white, but I could hear muddled voices in the back ground. Was Nick about to go off on Gary Jr…. toss his inhaler and wallet out the window and drag his ass out by his utters? No… I was paralized. Defeated. Dead. Once I regained conscience I notice Gary Jr. was ok now. He was no longer angry, or bitter, but girlllll… was he hungry!
So to answer your question… Gary Jr. would win.
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
If you’d like to ask us a question for next week, please email us at questions@deadat2am.com
The Taco Bell Call-Out
Jan 17th
There’s a Taco Bell on Geary Blvd. and 6th Ave. in San Francisco. Technically, it’s also a KFC but irregardless. I may have been there a couple times in my younger years and I hate them. No, I don’t hate them because of the Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet. I hate them for one very specific reason. I call it the Taco Bell Call-Out.
This Taco Bell is tiny. You open the front door and there’s no place to sit and there’s barely any room for standing in line to order. Anyway, it is policy at that Taco Bell to call out your name when your order is ready. Makes sense, right? Well, after they call your name and you’re approaching the counter to pick up your food, they proceed to call out the entirety of your order even if you’re already right at the counter. They won’t even hand over your food until they’ve finished explaining everything that’s in the bag (or in my case, bags). Once as I approached the counter, I told them not to call out my order and that I trust that the bag contains what I’ve ordered. But it never works.
“GEARY! Order ready for Geary!” (Yeah, they never get my name right). I approach the counter. “Hi, Geary. I have here a Number 5. That’s two supreme tacos and a Mexican pizza. I also have a Meximelt, one Gordita, a bean burrito hold the onions, and a KFC snacker.” At this point all the skinny bitches behind the registers (Luan and Dolores) are snickering. “And cinnamon twists for dessert. Would you like two sets of utensils?” I mutter, “No, thanks. I have forks at home.” “Great! Enjoy. Thanks, Geary.” I quickly grab the bags of food, pull down my hat, put on my divorcee sunglasses and run like hell.