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Posts tagged Sweetums
Month in Media: April
Apr 30th
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of April!
Gary Jr.
YouTube — Jesse Tyler Ferguson Does Gaga
First, you know I love Modern Family and the gay couple. Well, what could be better than 1/2 of that gay couple singing a lounge version of Alejandro. Plus, you know how much I love loungey cocktail music. Damn. I want JTF’s babies…especially because he is gay in real life and I must therefore believe that he is also a chubby chaser (since everything on TV is true).
iPhone App — LoseIt
Yes, I jumped on the bandwagon this month thanks to Heifer 1 and Heifer 2. I’ve been dieting since April 1. I had a little set back this week only losing .5 pounds but since April 1, I have lost 8.5 pounds and 10.5 from my heaviest (which was mid-March).
Movie ReRun – Shaun of the Dead
It’s just so funny. It’s been on Comedy Central this month. I love that for the whole morning commute during the opening scenes everyone is dead tired and zombie-like and then 20 minutes those same scenes happen again except everyone around him is a zombie. I love zombie movies like nobody’s business. I even have zombie exit strategies. I think about this shit while I’m playing Catan in the restroom.
Music– Shampain by Martina and the Diamonds
So I’ve been riding my exercise bike a lot. And I’ve been grooving out to my jams. But let me tell you that I pump a lot faster when this Martina and the Diamonds diddy comes on the shuffle. The clip calls it Shampain Sleeper but it’s just Shampain. Also about 2 weeks ago, I tweeted some lyrics from this song and Nick got mad at me for drinking champagne when I should be dieting. Bitch, I was singing and not cheating. I feel celestial! Yyyes.
Benutty
Music – Mary J. Blige’s “Stairway to Heaven“
This shit is amazing. I wasn’t too big of a fan of it when it first came out, but after seeing her perform it on American Idol I jumped on board. Compared to all the other idiots who performed awful renditions of otherwise good songs (see: Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Ke$ha, Adam Lambert) on the show, MJB proved that she’s still in the business for a reason! — she knows how to sing and how to put on a good show. And, seriously, who else could pull off a LZ song like that?
Glee Quote – Santana in “The Power of Madonna”
“It’ll be great for my image, and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It’s win-win.” This bitch is so classic. Love her to death. Nick told me there’s a rumor the Cheerios might get their own spin-off, and if Santana and Brittany are a part of it then it’ll surely be gaymazing.
iPhone App – We Rule
Hello! It’s Farmville meets Sim City and it is wondrous. I got everyone hooked on it and I can’t freaking wait until I grow enough broccoli to purchase my Magic Emporium and a second Watch Tower! Ooh girl, gotta go collect taxes from my cottages. Huhhnns. I kind of want an iPad just so I can play this on a bigger screen.
D@2 Post – Guest Blog by FrankieRose
I was proud of lil sis for coming up with such a great D@2-inspired post. Before she submitted this for the Guest Blogger contest she sent me the picture via text and I almost died. This killed me. Love that Gary Jr. is a secret real estate agent in Sacramento. I bet he can spread his legs for the Real Estate King like A. Bening does in A. Beauty.
Nick
Music – Ultrasound
So I found this shizzz on iTunes a couple weeks, and it’s totally gay and I love it!! Check it out and dance.
iPhone App – Blokus
Yes Hunnnsss. Blokus has an iPhone app and it’s so goodies you’lll gag with orgasms. It’s 4.99 right now but I am sure the price will lower soon.
YouTube Clip – Bathtub Fun
It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in this video… the guy in it is fucking hot. So turn it on and take your dicks out.
D@2 Post: Sweetums Premiere
Um Gary Jr. is a damn mess and this is the proof. Love it like a cold sore.
World Premiere Video of Sweetums
Apr 8th
Hey folks and troll babies–
I’m so sorry that I’ve been silent for so long. You see, I went to the Russian River Valley for a weeklong spa vacay with Misha. It was so much fun. We drank too much wine and made way too many babies. Anyhoo, after that we headed right into the studio. I guess I forgot to tell you all that back in October Kylie’s people (Steve Anderson, thanks Stevie) caught wind of my Sweetums series. They were in Oakland for her first concert in the States and checking out the local talent. A boa and a Divine tribute later, Kylie was eating out of my well-manicured hand. Or…I was eating out of hers. She loved Sweetums and immediately offered me a recording contract on the Bubbles Devere label. Yyyyes. Hunnies is now famous.
The world premiere of my music video was awesome. Kylie showed up. Gaga was there. Oprah introduced me to my adoring fans. I wasn’t given enough tickets to invite the hunnies. Oopsies. So I sent my film crew to the Haus of Hunnies to record them on premiere night. Enjoy!
Sweetums Series: The Collaboration
Feb 21st
That’s right. All the hunnies got together for this one to save Haiti.
Never let Nick, Benutty and Gary Jr. have the keys to your music studio. And never give them 5 bottles of champes to share between the three. They will get a cravin’ for meatloaf.
Ladies Sing the Meatloaf (for Haiti)
Enjoy!
Next week iTunes will be releasing the coveted outtakes from the studio session with the Hunnies. But you will hear it here first ladies and gentlemen and farm animals.
Ladies Who Lunch on Meatloaf and then Gag and Choke then Die like Momma Cass
Sweetums Series #6
Jan 30th
Never give Gary Jr. a mimosa at Nick and Jay’s house. Things turn ugly…for Ke$ha.
Lady Sings Another Tranny’s Hit
Toodles,
Gary Jr.
Gary GaGa
Jan 28th
The Sweetums Series is nice and all… but lets get to the truth. When alcohol and Gary Jr. mix it’s like a drag queen puking on a passed out tranny wearing too much glitter and sequins. Sure he sings to his sweetums, but that is only on the way home from the madness. Once the booze starts flowing Gary Jr. takes off to Variety Shop on Clement Street & 4th Avenue (the best drag queen store in all of the Richmond [the neighborhood, not the ghetto city]), and this is frightening result: Gary GaGa!!!!
Sweetums Series #5
Jan 27th
Hi folks–
I’ve been drunk and in the studio all this week. It’s been one of those weeks!
Anyway, for this one, it was a pina colada or two or three….and a roofie.
Sweetums Series #4
Jan 25th
After a stiff gin martini, never let Gary Jr. borrow your DVD set of Maude episodes! Never!
Lady Sings the Maude Theme Song
Toodles,
Gary Jr.
Sweetums Series #3
Jan 8th
You mustn’t ever give Gary Jr. a bottle of Moscato d’Asti and the Ke$ha CD on the same evening. Mayhem will ensue.
Toodles,
Gary Jr.
Sweetums Series #2
Jan 3rd
This is what happens at midnight after an In-n-Out Double Double, a throat lozenge, and 99.7’s Clubber’s Commute. The huhhhhnies should never leave me alone on a Saturday night with Misha. Poor Misha just shook his head in horror. He’s going to break up with me for sure.
Toodles,
Gary Jr.
Gary Jr. Sings a Song for His Sweetums
Jan 1st
This is what happens when you leave Gary Jr. alone with a voice recorder, a bottle of champagne and a Kylie CD.
Toodles,
Gary Jr.