Posts tagged squeeze

Not-So-Deep Thoughts

Dating is like a box of See’s Candy.  You poke, squeeze, lick, taste and smell all your options before finally finding the right one.

Month in Media: April

Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of April!

Gary Jr.

YouTube  — Jesse Tyler Ferguson Does Gaga
First, you know I love Modern Family and the gay couple. Well, what could be better than 1/2 of that gay couple singing a lounge version of Alejandro. Plus, you know how much I love loungey cocktail music. Damn. I want JTF’s babies…especially because he is gay in real life and I must therefore believe that he is also a chubby chaser (since everything on TV is true).

iPhone App — LoseIt
Yes, I jumped on the bandwagon this month thanks to Heifer 1 and Heifer 2. I’ve been dieting since April 1. I had a little set back this week only losing .5 pounds but since April 1, I have lost 8.5 pounds and 10.5 from my heaviest (which was mid-March).

Movie ReRun – Shaun of the Dead
It’s just so funny. It’s been on Comedy Central this month. I love that for the whole morning commute during the opening scenes everyone is dead tired and zombie-like and then 20 minutes those same scenes happen again except everyone around him is a zombie. I love zombie movies like nobody’s business. I even have zombie exit strategies. I think about this shit while I’m playing Catan in the restroom.

Music– Shampain by Martina and the Diamonds
So I’ve been riding my exercise bike a lot. And I’ve been grooving out to my jams. But let me tell you that I pump a lot faster when this Martina and the Diamonds diddy comes on the shuffle. The clip calls it Shampain Sleeper but it’s just Shampain. Also about 2 weeks ago, I tweeted some lyrics from this song and Nick got mad at me for drinking champagne when I should be dieting. Bitch, I was singing and not cheating. I feel celestial! Yyyes.

Benutty

MusicMary J. Blige‘s “Stairway to Heaven
This shit is amazing. I wasn’t too big of a fan of it when it first came out, but after seeing her perform it on American Idol I jumped on board. Compared to all the other idiots who performed awful renditions of otherwise good songs (see: Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Ke$ha, Adam Lambert) on the show, MJB proved that she’s still in the business for a reason! — she knows how to sing and how to put on a good show. And, seriously, who else could pull off a LZ song like that?

Glee Quote – Santana in “The Power of Madonna”
It’ll be great for my image, and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It’s win-win.” This bitch is so classic. Love her to death. Nick told me there’s a rumor the Cheerios might get their own spin-off, and if Santana and Brittany are a part of it then it’ll surely be gaymazing.

iPhone App – We Rule
Hello! It’s Farmville meets Sim City and it is wondrous. I got everyone hooked on it and I can’t freaking wait until I grow enough broccoli to purchase my Magic Emporium and a second Watch Tower! Ooh girl, gotta go collect taxes from my cottages. Huhhnns. I kind of want an iPad just so I can play this on a bigger screen.

D@2 Post – Guest Blog by FrankieRose
I was proud of lil sis for coming up with such a great D@2-inspired post. Before she submitted this for the Guest Blogger contest she sent me the picture via text and I almost died. This killed me. Love that Gary Jr. is a secret real estate agent in Sacramento. I bet he can spread his legs for the Real Estate King like A. Bening does in A. Beauty.

Nick

Music – Ultrasound

So I found this shizzz on iTunes a couple weeks, and it’s totally gay and I love it!!  Check it out and dance.

iPhone App – Blokus

Yes Hunnnsss. Blokus has an iPhone app and it’s so goodies you’lll gag with orgasms.  It’s 4.99 right now but I am sure the price will lower soon.

YouTube Clip – Bathtub Fun

It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in this video… the guy in it is fucking hot.  So turn it on and take your dicks out.

D@2 Post: Sweetums Premiere

Um Gary Jr. is a damn mess and this is the proof.  Love it like a cold sore.

Not-So-Deep Conversations

Gary Jr.: I love scary movies

Nick: I don’t… well I don’t when I’m with you… You always squeeze my leg hella hard when something scares you.

Gary Jr.: (looking at an old man walking by) I want to be like that when I’m old. Standing straight, looking good.

Nick: Yea but you’d be in a wheelchair

Gary Jr.: Dead! (grabs my leg hard) Oops… I was watching a horror movie

Nick: Yea… of your life

So What! Who Cares?!?

Last night I was relaxing on the couch with Misha. We were cuddling and he reached around to give my tush a little squeeze…and he starts laughing and laughing. I feel his finger playing with something and then he asks me, “Why do you have a quarter stuck to your buttcheek?”

Frankly, I don’t know the answer to that question. So what! Who cares?!?