So that night that Nick, Benutty, Misha and I all went to see The White Ribbon there was this crazy sneezer in the theatre. In a very dramatic silent scene, he barreled out a sneeze (almost certainly accompanied with snot-spit). Certainly, no one was bothered by this. Sneezing happens. Whatever. And sometimes in theatres. Meh. But then the sneezer loudly proclaimed to everyone in the theatre, “I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY. PARDON ME PLEASE.” There, he drew the line. You could hear a pin drop before the sneeze and then he shattered everyone’s thought and concentration during a pivotal scene.

He was in the row behind me and startled me nearly to death. I shit-peed myself. I was pissed but I didn’t bother to turn around and sneer. But you know Misha did. He got a good look at the sneezer. After the film ended, the four of us gathered outside to figure out what we were going to do and to talk about the movie. You know I immediately had to bring up the sneezer. “And what kind of bitch-moron screams out ‘PARDON ME. OH. MY. GOD. I JUST SNEEZED EVERYWHERE. FORGIVE ME. MY BAD OOPS. AAAAAAH! SNEEZE. LOOK AT ME!  I SNEEZED EVERYONE!’”

Misha looks at me and says “The kind of moron that ends up standing next to you after the movie ends and hears everything you just said.” I turn around and there’s the sneezer, sneering at me. “Hi.”

So what! Who cares?!? Shut up! Don’t get it twisted!