Posts tagged ridiculous

I got online tonight to talk to a friend of mine, and we chatted a while until he went to bed. I left my IM open while I went to the bathroom to poop, and when I got back another friend of mine came online and left me this:

(I have replaced his screen name with “Friend”, so he doesn’t get pissed that I posted this. Enjoy)

Friend (1:19:24 AM): ok…
Friend (1:19:25 AM): so here i am…horny as all fuckin’ hell
Friend (1:19:35 AM): call this guy…good lookin’ mexican that i’ve met and messed around with before
Friend (1:19:39 AM): i picked him, of course, for his penis…
Friend (1:19:45 AM): anyhow…
Friend (1:19:48 AM): he gets here….
Friend (1:20:06 AM): we get all naked…make out (and its fuckin’ great), play around with some other stuff…and then we’re about to get all dirty…
Friend (1:20:11 AM): i lube up and what not…
Friend (1:20:15 AM): lube him up…
Friend (1:20:25 AM): remind him that i dont bottom often…fuckin’ take it easy….
Friend (1:20:28 AM): he’s all…ok!
Friend (1:20:34 AM): he starts to put it in…
Friend (1:20:39 AM): i’m like….omg, wait a minute…
Friend (1:20:59 AM): because its a big dick…i mean, if i’m gonna fucked…i’m gonna GET FUCKED…you know what i’m sayin?! so anyhow…
Friend (1:21:06 AM): we pause for a moment…i regain my stance…
Friend (1:21:12 AM): he puts it back in…
Friend (1:21:17 AM): i’m like…damn this is hella good
Friend (1:21:37 AM): so he’s takin’ all slow ‘n shit…and i’m like…”gurl, you got it”
Friend (1:21:42 AM): so he starts fuckin….
Friend (1:21:51 AM): and like 4 pumps into it…he’s all…omg i’m gonna cum.
Friend (1:22:17 AM): every part of my body must have went limp in fuckin’ disappointment…
Friend (1:23:07 AM): my arms fell to the bed…my face went all stoic and i said, “you’ve got to be kidding me, right?”
Friend (1:23:12 AM): he was like…i’m so sorry…but it felt so good
Friend (1:23:30 AM): i didnt cum…
Friend (1:23:33 AM): i rolled over….
Friend (1:23:40 AM): grabbed his pants and his shirt…
Friend (1:23:49 AM): handed them to him…and pointed him to the bathroom to clean up and leave
Friend (1:24:04 AM): told him to lock the door knob from the inside on the way out … and maybe i’ll see him out sometime
Friend (1:24:16 AM): closed my door, went to bed and now i cant sleep because i’m fuckin’ horny as all hell
Friend (1:24:21 AM): seriously…i’m so pissed
Friend (1:25:51 AM): thats ridiculous
Friend (1:26:16 AM): you know what this means, right?!?! i’m gonna fuck the first thing that looks at me tomorrow night at the bar
Friend (1:26:21 AM): thats bad news
Friend (1:26:25 AM): anyways….
Friend (1:26:29 AM): g’nite