Dead at 2am » Recipe for Staying Single http://www.deadat2am.com Next stop... Whores! Wed, 23 Nov 2011 01:07:21 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc Recipe for Staying Single: Make a Contract with Your Lover! http://www.deadat2am.com/2010/07/recipe-for-staying-single-make-a-contract-with-your-lover/ http://www.deadat2am.com/2010/07/recipe-for-staying-single-make-a-contract-with-your-lover/#comments Sat, 24 Jul 2010 15:14:21 +0000 Benutty http://www.deadat2am.com/?p=3067 It wasn’t and never will be classy to make that guy you just started dating two days ago sign a contract of intended commitment! And as evidence of how not classy I was in 2003, here’s an example of a contract I made this one fool Elijah sign!

It reads:

I, Elijah, agree to work in hundred-hundred partnership with Benutty, current sole proprietor of Unreal, Inc., and Unreal, International, and 21st Century Unreal. I understand that after the self-instated probation period of an agreed upon term of one month, having begun on Wednesday, the 19th of February in the year 2003 and ending on Friday, the 21st of March in the year 2003, I will be handed another contract, a Contract of Commitment, at which I will decide whether to commit myself to the aforementioned companies and become co-owner along with Benutty or to disembark on this journey, to instead another probation period, or to make it real (which would be horrible). I understand that until Friday, the 21st of March in the year 2003, I am under no obligation to the aforementioned companies and I have the right to negotiate with other companies. This contract is in no way binding.

x____(signed)_____

WHAT THE FUCK?! Someone should have killed me.

And why the hell did I keep this for SEVEN YEARS?!

Not classy. Single. Lame fucktard.

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