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Posts tagged Ozzy Lusth
Question of the Week (03/06 – 03/12)
Mar 11th
Q: Answer the following questions using no more than one sentence?
What person/s do you most credit with shaping who you are?
Oscar, Mark, Paul, Elijah, John, NoName1, Jamaal, DCharles, Francis, NoName2, X, Javier1, Dan, NYRandom, Justin, X, Javier2, Ed, and maybe a few others.
If you were stranded on a desert island, what three people would you most want with you?
Ozzy Lusth, James Clement, and Parvati Shallow
Who was the last person you know that you fantasized about having sex with?
Xtube#80912709821309
Did you masturbate to this fantasy?
Probably
How long should foreplay last?
Til I’m out of breath
How long should intercourse last?
Til I catch my breath
Have you ever licked food off of another person’s nipples or genitals?
I think I have
Estimate: What is the most orgasms you’ve had in a single 24 hour period?
Maybe 3
Have you ever engaged in a sexual activity while sitting on the toilet?
Not really
Have you ever done illegal drugs off the nipples or genitals of someone else?
Wishes it
What is the shortest period of time that you’ve had sex with someone after meeting them for the first time?
No time
Have you ever videotaped yourself having sex?
Masturbating, yes
Could you really just have sex with one person for the rest of your life?
Absolutely not
What would your mom say if she could see how you answered these questions you sick fuck?
She’d top every single one of them with a better story
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
Shouldn’t Have Said It Then
Mar 8th
Aunt F doesn’t know who she is dealing with. When she tried to tell me she wasn’t going to compete in my Survivor challenge this year I had to tell her the business. Look at this email thread we had the other day:
Aunt F: not sure about playing this season, don’t really like all the lying to the face stuff, I’m too sensitive. Maybe I can help?
Benutty: No. You’re going to play.
Aunt F: You can’t make me. Gary Jr. might kill me.
Benutty: He loves you. He’d want to be on your tribe. Think of all the pre-game alliances you could make now that you know these fools!
Aunt F: Been done. We’ll see if you need people.
Benutty: hahahaha. Fine. We’ll play with Patron rather than beer.
Aunt F: I’m in.
In the words of Nicka — whatever mami wants, mami gets. yes.
Question of the Week (02/27 – 03/05)
Mar 4th
Q: Answer the following taboo questions:
RELIGION, PHILOSOPHY AND POLITICS:
01) Do you believe in God?
Mostly no. But I believe that “God” is one interpretation of what I believe to be a unifying spiritual center to the world.
02) What religion, if any, do you most identify yourself with?
Probably Taoism — mostly with the elements of finding knowledge in the universe through understanding yourself first, and with the forces of opposites being powerful and essential in the world.
03) Do you feel that your religious beliefs have a place in the legislative process?
I believe that they have a place in the legislative process only with regard to how one citizen makes up his/her own decisions, like how to vote on a certain issue. Never beyond that.
04) How do you feel about gun control in America?
Strongly in favor of more control over it. The Bill of Rights is outdated and needs to be rewritten for contemporary America. Citizens having the right to bear arms in order to protect themselves from their own government is mostly irrelevant today.
05) Are the homosexuals going to ruin the institution of marriage in America?
The institution of marriage is going to ruin homosexuals.
SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK N ROLL:
01) If you had to have sex with a celebrity that went against your sexual preference for the good of the world, who would you choose?
Rihanna
02) If you had to have sex with someone you know that went against your sexual preference for the good of the world, who would you choose?
Sonica
03) What dead person would you most like to have had sex with before they departed this mortal coil?
Alexander the Great
04) Have you ever had a threesome or been involved in an orgy with more than three people?
Foursome & fivesome.
05) Excluding multiple partner sex, have you ever had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period?
Never. And I’m not lying.
06) What about a 12 hour period you dirty whore?
Obviously not.
07) Do you LIKE pornography you pervert?
Not really. I watch it, but I wouldn’t say I LIKE it.
08) Have you ever talked on the phone during sex?
I love phone sex.
09) If so, how long was the phone conversation as opposed to the actual sex?
Which time?
10) Have you ever been tied up and used like the dirty slut you are?
I remember trying to be tied up once but it didn’t really work. I’m too aggressive.
11) What is the strangest place you have ever had sex?
Bottom of the Campanile at Cal or in a movie theater during Mystic River.
12) What is your opinion on anal sex?
It’s more comfortable in certain positions.
13) Okay be honest – do you REALLY like performing oral sex or is it just a necessary evil you have to commit to in order to please your partner and wait for your turn?
OMG I love oral sex.
14) Did you fall in love with the first person other than yourself who gave you an orgasm?
Absolutely not. I don’t even remember who it was with.
15) Lastly, to give our readers something to savor, have you ever tasted your own jizz?
Of course. I have a good story about this one time I did it, but too much of my family reads this stuff so I’ll keep it to myself, thanks.
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D@2 Blogger Auditions for Survivor on CBS.com!
Feb 9th
Unfortunately for everyone but me, I discovered that CBS is allowing fans to upload video applications for upcoming seasons of Survivor online! I tried out for the show a couple years ago at the Verizon in Emeryville, but didn’t get a call-back. I also tried out for Big Brother back in the day — (if you google my name that video will come up in the search) — and didn’t get a call back on that one either. Hopefully third time’s a charm!
Wait. I also tried out for Real World waaaaaaay back in the day. I’m fucked.
But maybe, just maybe, I’ll get a call-back this time. I like need to meet Ozzy.
Help me get noticed by viewing my audition video and commenting on how cute I look, how funny I am, and how badly you want me on the show!!
After that, make your own and try out, too!