This is Part II of the Soda & Ivy Incident:

So in High School Ruby and I hung out with the same crowds, but we always tried to stay away from each other. I have to admit that she did become nicer in her old age, but at the time I was not a very forgiving person and I talked mad shit about her every chance I got. Plus it got me laughs, and who doesn’t like that.

So one day during our lunch break we were sitting around in our usual spot. Most of my friends were there… Jenn the closet lezbo, Christian the gayest man I ever met who wasn’t gay (sorry Alfie), Manuel the other big homo on campus (who I wanted to screw), Archie the douche bag who I really didn’t know, but assumed he was a douche bag because that’s how I roll, and Ruby the cunty skank.

We were all sitting around talking shit about our teachers and the drama folks, when Ruby got up and said she was meeting with a teacher or some shit, and walked away. That’s when I sprang into action:

  • Me: Thank god she left. She is such a bitch.

<silence>

  • Me: Did you see that shit on her mouth… herpes anyone?

<silence>

At this point Jenn and Manuel were both giving me this look like… “shut the fuck up you stupid bitch” (you know the look Gary), and Christian was trying not to laugh.

  • Me: I just fucking hate her. She is worthless.

At this point Archie got up and walked away.

  • Me: What’s his problem?
  • Jenn: That’s Ruby’s boyfriend you dumb ass!
  • Me: Oh ooops.

Needless to say Rudy and Archie really didn’t hang around me after that, but hello… he didn’t stick up for her, so obviously he knew it was the truth.

And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.