Next stop… Horror!
Posts tagged not-so-deep thoughts
Not-So-Deep ‘You Know What I Hate?’
May 26th
I hate losing games. This is why I created a system in which I always win. For example…
If i’m playing Blokus with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Benutty beats me… I win. How is that possible you ask? Well let’s put it this way. If Benutty won then he either cheated or got lucky… so therefore… I win.
Another example…
If I’m playing the Settlers of Catan with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Gary Jr. beats me… I win. How? Well obviously Benutty either cheated or helped Gary Jr. win, or Gary Jr. got lucky… so therefore… I win.
See how simple this is.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Apr 22nd
So I bought a bottle of water today and headed into work. The elevator was full of people, and this random guy turned to me and said… “You bought a bottle of water on Earth Day?”. I looked down at my bottle, and said… “Um… I’m going to recycle it.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Mar 31st
I was drinking root beer the other day, and I was wondering what gives it flavor. I looked it up on Wikipedia (because it’s all knowing) and I learned that it gets its flavor from Sassafras root.
About an hour later I thought: “Ohhhh… that’s why they call it Root Beer”.
I hate myself so bad sometimes.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 21st
(Picture it… I’m sitting on a cement block in the park near the Ferry Building)
Tourist: Excuse me… do you live here?
Nick: In the park?
Tourist: Um… no… in San Francisco?
Nick: Oooohhhh… yea.
oops.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 18th
Gary Jr.: I love scary movies
Nick: I don’t… well I don’t when I’m with you… You always squeeze my leg hella hard when something scares you.
Gary Jr.: (looking at an old man walking by) I want to be like that when I’m old. Standing straight, looking good.
Nick: Yea but you’d be in a wheelchair
Gary Jr.: Dead! (grabs my leg hard) Oops… I was watching a horror movie
Nick: Yea… of your life
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 25th
“Kris Allen’s album is really good when you have it on shuffle with other music… When it comes on it’s like a refresher… like something… refreshing.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 2nd
“Happiness is not my friends dancing around singing Lady GaGa songs with champes in their hands… It’s when they finally stop.” Exhibit A
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 27th
“Happiness is like a phone call from an old friend… except they called to tell you they’re dying… hmm I guess that would be sadness then”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 24th
“Being straight is just like being gay… well except the whole liking the opposite sex thing… yuck”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 15th
“I think it’s important to give to those in need. Don’t you?… Good… I need a couple hundred dollars. Thanks.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 13th
“Courage is like fire fighting. If a fire fighter was to run into a burning building to save a cat, and that cat clawed at him… it wouldn’t hurt the fire fighter because he would be wearing so much protective gear. Then other stuff could happen and that would be like courage.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 9th
“Why can’t cats and mice just get along? One eats cheese, the other eats mice… Oh, I see now.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 6th
“I love mean bitches. Like the guy who named the phobia for the fear of long words “Hippopotomonstrosquippodaliophobia”. That’s messed up, and I love it.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 4th
“Having sex with your boyfriend is kind of like doing a good job at work… The more you do it, the more they expect it.”