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Posts tagged napa
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The False Teeth Incident
Jan 19th
I used to borrow my parents car all the time back in the day because I never had enough money to get my own. My parents didn’t really want me to leave the greater Sacramento area with the car though. I guess they thought that anything outside of Sacramento was more dangerous of something… who knows. Obviously that didn’t stop me from going anywhere I wanted. I went to Tahoe, Santa Cruz, Napa, and of course San Francisco all the time.
One particular day my friend Vanessa and I decided we wanted to go to San Francisco to go shopping on Haight Street, and to get lunch. By the way… this was before I realized how much I hated Haight Street. Anyways, it took us about 90 minutes to get there, and after about another 15 minutes we finally found parking next to the panhandle. We got about a block away from where we parked when my mom called.
- Me: Hello
- Mom: Nick?… it’s your mom.
She always informs that it is her on the phone even though I obviously recognized the phone number.
- Me: Hey… what’s up?
- Mom: Can you come back home. Your dad left his false teeth in the glove box, and he can’t eat his lunch without them.
What!? First of all… who leaves their false teeth in a car? Secondly, I’m gonna have to lie my ass off… if she knew I was in San Francisco I wouldn’t be able to use the car for a while.
- Me: Um yea… but I’m in Roseville (which is like 25 minutes from where I lived), and we were just walking in to eat… so does he need them like now or can I eat first?
- Mom: Oh. It’s ok. Stay and eat.
- Me: Ok… well I can be back home in like an hour.
- Mom: Ok.. see you soon.
Fucking hell! I explained the situation to Vanessa, and we headed back to the car and started driving back to Sacramento. It took us like 80 minutes to get back, but we successfully delivered the false teeth to my dad.
Talk about ruining the day. Nope not for us… we got back in the car, and headed right back to San Francisco for shopping and dinner! I kinda miss days like that.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Question of the Week (07/20 – 07/26)
Jul 20th
This week’s question was asked by Calipeach of Palmdale, CA:
I’d like each of you to give three guesses as to what Gary Jr. might find hiding in his belly flap. Of course if three guesses is not enough, by all means give as many as needed?
Thanks for the question Calipeach… You know this question is asked a lot by those who know Gary Jr. The deep crevices of his belly flap can hold a whole assortment of things at any time. For a long time now it was believed that only his wallet, phone, and a 6 pack of condoms were in there (you never know how lucky you are gonna get), but recently he surprised me….
We were driving thru Napa wine country on a beautiful hot summer day when suddenly we both had the urge to stop and buy a bottle of wine at my favorite winery Peju. I ended up buying a case of their Carnival dessert wine. It’s very delicious. We continued driving thru wine country when the heat just got so unbearable. As a joke, I told Gary Jr. that we should just open a bottle and start drinking. After all, it takes a lot of wine to get me drunk… ok! He loved the idea, but soon I realized that we didn’t have any wine glasses, or a bottle opener. No sooner was I about to mention it did Gary Jr. pull a wine opener out from under his belly flap. I gasp and said “You’ve got to be kidding me you stupid awful bitch!”… He glanced over at me and yelled out “A lady is always prepared for anything!”. Once he got the bottle open I figured we would just take turns drinking from the bottle but again I was surprised when Gary Jr. pulled two wine glasses out from his belly flap. After I removed what looked like belly button lint out of my glass I poured me some wine and drank up. How impressed was I? Later that day when we got hungry he even pulled out some little sandwiches…. but he told me… “I used to carry the mayo on the side, as not everyone likes it, but then I had that incident with the jar of mayo breaking…. ouch!”
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.