Next stop… Whores!
Posts tagged Mary J. Blige
Month in Media: April
Apr 30th
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of April!
Gary Jr.
YouTube — Jesse Tyler Ferguson Does Gaga
First, you know I love Modern Family and the gay couple. Well, what could be better than 1/2 of that gay couple singing a lounge version of Alejandro. Plus, you know how much I love loungey cocktail music. Damn. I want JTF’s babies…especially because he is gay in real life and I must therefore believe that he is also a chubby chaser (since everything on TV is true).
iPhone App — LoseIt
Yes, I jumped on the bandwagon this month thanks to Heifer 1 and Heifer 2. I’ve been dieting since April 1. I had a little set back this week only losing .5 pounds but since April 1, I have lost 8.5 pounds and 10.5 from my heaviest (which was mid-March).
Movie ReRun – Shaun of the Dead
It’s just so funny. It’s been on Comedy Central this month. I love that for the whole morning commute during the opening scenes everyone is dead tired and zombie-like and then 20 minutes those same scenes happen again except everyone around him is a zombie. I love zombie movies like nobody’s business. I even have zombie exit strategies. I think about this shit while I’m playing Catan in the restroom.
Music– Shampain by Martina and the Diamonds
So I’ve been riding my exercise bike a lot. And I’ve been grooving out to my jams. But let me tell you that I pump a lot faster when this Martina and the Diamonds diddy comes on the shuffle. The clip calls it Shampain Sleeper but it’s just Shampain. Also about 2 weeks ago, I tweeted some lyrics from this song and Nick got mad at me for drinking champagne when I should be dieting. Bitch, I was singing and not cheating. I feel celestial! Yyyes.
Benutty
Music – Mary J. Blige‘s “Stairway to Heaven“
This shit is amazing. I wasn’t too big of a fan of it when it first came out, but after seeing her perform it on American Idol I jumped on board. Compared to all the other idiots who performed awful renditions of otherwise good songs (see: Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Ke$ha, Adam Lambert) on the show, MJB proved that she’s still in the business for a reason! — she knows how to sing and how to put on a good show. And, seriously, who else could pull off a LZ song like that?
Glee Quote – Santana in “The Power of Madonna”
“It’ll be great for my image, and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It’s win-win.” This bitch is so classic. Love her to death. Nick told me there’s a rumor the Cheerios might get their own spin-off, and if Santana and Brittany are a part of it then it’ll surely be gaymazing.
iPhone App – We Rule
Hello! It’s Farmville meets Sim City and it is wondrous. I got everyone hooked on it and I can’t freaking wait until I grow enough broccoli to purchase my Magic Emporium and a second Watch Tower! Ooh girl, gotta go collect taxes from my cottages. Huhhnns. I kind of want an iPad just so I can play this on a bigger screen.
D@2 Post – Guest Blog by FrankieRose
I was proud of lil sis for coming up with such a great D@2-inspired post. Before she submitted this for the Guest Blogger contest she sent me the picture via text and I almost died. This killed me. Love that Gary Jr. is a secret real estate agent in Sacramento. I bet he can spread his legs for the Real Estate King like A. Bening does in A. Beauty.
Nick
Music – Ultrasound
So I found this shizzz on iTunes a couple weeks, and it’s totally gay and I love it!! Check it out and dance.
iPhone App – Blokus
Yes Hunnnsss. Blokus has an iPhone app and it’s so goodies you’lll gag with orgasms. It’s 4.99 right now but I am sure the price will lower soon.
YouTube Clip – Bathtub Fun
It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in this video… the guy in it is fucking hot. So turn it on and take your dicks out.
D@2 Post: Sweetums Premiere
Um Gary Jr. is a damn mess and this is the proof. Love it like a cold sore.
Month in Media: January
Jan 31st
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of January!
Benutty
Music Video – “On to the Next One” by Jay-Z with Swizz Beatz
This shit is soooo effing tight. I sweat for the girls drop-dancing and the druggie in the hoodie. Mami wants.
YouTube Clip – Jiz and the Mammograms
“This is the motherfucking dress I’m going to get motherfucking gangbanged in tonight.” On daily repeat. Don’t think I won’t make a ringtone of it.
Sports – Arizona vs. Green Bay
I literally like seriously almost wet myself over the missed field goal at the end and the completely random turnover to finish the game in overtime. I was banking on an AZ win for a pool I was in so I was really excited — too bad those queens went and ruined it the following week. Oh well. Go Colts!
TV Show – The Jersey Shore
I mean, seriously? This show killed me every feeeeeucking week. Snooki was goddamn hilarious. Who ever knew there were so many fantastic words for DBs? Grenade. Grenade Launcher. Hippo. Creature.
Album – Stronger with Each Tear by Mary J. Blige
I really played this album out this month. It’s very typ of MJB lately — and, let’s face it, the self-empowerment-I-can-do-anything-because-I-overcame-so-much-adversity thing is getting old — but you can’t deny that the bitch has an amazing voice. And her songs are so sweet most of the time! Aww.
D@2 Post – Dead at 2am: Part 2
This killed me. It made me want to die at 2 again! “Champaaaaaaaagne.” D@2 Blogger? ME! Feeeeeucking Safeway aisle 8 spill janitor.
Gary Jr.
Music Video – “Fixin’ to Thrill” by Dragonette
God, I do love my Dragonette. When I spotted this music video which I had never seen before, poop may have come out. …………………..Of my mouth.
Movie – A Single Man
Isherwood is a weirdo but I loved this movie. Colin Firth can be my silver daddy any day.
YouTube Clip – Cadbury Eyebrows
First, I love chocolate. Second, I love this song. Third, I love overly mobile eyebrows.
TV Show – Modern Family
This show is soo awesome. I am Cameron. That’s all I have to say. Go watch the episode called The Incident. Shelley Long plays the crazy mom. It’s so awesome. It’s worth it.
Sports – Nadal/Murray match at the Australian Open
Okay. If I’m going to post a sports highlight, it will likely only be tennis or figure skating. Anyway, Nadal is hot and the Australian Open is kick ass. The build up for this showdown was awesome. Too bad Hottie Nadal bowed out. Puss. Yeah! Not so gay now, am I sluts! L’Angie that post was for you.
D@2 Post – Nick’s Answer to a Question of the Week
Anytime you can get Nick to write an awesome post about you kicking him in his balls, you know that’s a media highlight.
Nick
Current TV: American Idol
Every January I go into American Idol mode. Sadly it is one of my favorite TV shows. I’m not so sure about Ellen yet, so we’ll see how she does during Hollywood week.
Classic TV: Roseanne
You really can’t go wrong with white trash. No matter how many times I see these episodes they are always funny.
Music: Ke$ha
This bitch is off it. Listen to this album will make you want to dance on stripper poles for money. Loves it.
TV Network: The Food Network
Hello!… Chopped, The Worst Cooks in Amercia and the ever enjoyable Unwrapped. It’s like seriously the best network ever.
Favorite YouTube Channel, and Video: Peach Diaries
Seriously.. Peach Diaries is the best channel ever! Princess Peach has never been more entertaining.
D@2 Post: Benutty v. Gary Jr.
This truly is the essence of who we are. It doesn’t get any better than this.