As all of you loyal readers know, Nick has been making great strides on his new years resolution to lose weight! Down, down, down he goes. For most Americans above 125lbs, especially in the image conscious land of California,  down is the direction we set our weightless goals…

…But not this fat bitch! In Jersey they go the other way. UP UP UP.

She makes Cows and Trolls look like runway models.  She could eat the entire cast of Jersey Shores and she couldn’t be more proud of her petite figure.

How does she afford all that food you might ask:

“Simpson’s main source of income to support herself financially is by appearing on a Web site where men pay to watch videos of her gorging on food and showing off her hundreds of pounds of extra bulge in a bikini”