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Posts tagged lunch
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The False Teeth Incident
Jan 19th
I used to borrow my parents car all the time back in the day because I never had enough money to get my own. My parents didn’t really want me to leave the greater Sacramento area with the car though. I guess they thought that anything outside of Sacramento was more dangerous of something… who knows. Obviously that didn’t stop me from going anywhere I wanted. I went to Tahoe, Santa Cruz, Napa, and of course San Francisco all the time.
One particular day my friend Vanessa and I decided we wanted to go to San Francisco to go shopping on Haight Street, and to get lunch. By the way… this was before I realized how much I hated Haight Street. Anyways, it took us about 90 minutes to get there, and after about another 15 minutes we finally found parking next to the panhandle. We got about a block away from where we parked when my mom called.
- Me: Hello
- Mom: Nick?… it’s your mom.
She always informs that it is her on the phone even though I obviously recognized the phone number.
- Me: Hey… what’s up?
- Mom: Can you come back home. Your dad left his false teeth in the glove box, and he can’t eat his lunch without them.
What!? First of all… who leaves their false teeth in a car? Secondly, I’m gonna have to lie my ass off… if she knew I was in San Francisco I wouldn’t be able to use the car for a while.
- Me: Um yea… but I’m in Roseville (which is like 25 minutes from where I lived), and we were just walking in to eat… so does he need them like now or can I eat first?
- Mom: Oh. It’s ok. Stay and eat.
- Me: Ok… well I can be back home in like an hour.
- Mom: Ok.. see you soon.
Fucking hell! I explained the situation to Vanessa, and we headed back to the car and started driving back to Sacramento. It took us like 80 minutes to get back, but we successfully delivered the false teeth to my dad.
Talk about ruining the day. Nope not for us… we got back in the car, and headed right back to San Francisco for shopping and dinner! I kinda miss days like that.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
My Favorite Things
Nov 23rd
Champagne’s cute bubbles and lunch with my hunnies
Drinks at Martuni’s and fists full of monies
Fantastic music that I love to sing
These are a few of my favorite things!
Cuddles with my boo and baked chocolate brownies
Men with cute accents and things that are cuties
Double cheeseburgers with fried onion strings
These are a few of my favorite things
When the troll bites, when the cow sings
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Shit Talking Incident
Jul 22nd
This is Part II of the Soda & Ivy Incident:
So in High School Ruby and I hung out with the same crowds, but we always tried to stay away from each other. I have to admit that she did become nicer in her old age, but at the time I was not a very forgiving person and I talked mad shit about her every chance I got. Plus it got me laughs, and who doesn’t like that.
So one day during our lunch break we were sitting around in our usual spot. Most of my friends were there… Jenn the closet lezbo, Christian the gayest man I ever met who wasn’t gay (sorry Alfie), Manuel the other big homo on campus (who I wanted to screw), Archie the douche bag who I really didn’t know, but assumed he was a douche bag because that’s how I roll, and Ruby the cunty skank.
We were all sitting around talking shit about our teachers and the drama folks, when Ruby got up and said she was meeting with a teacher or some shit, and walked away. That’s when I sprang into action:
- Me: Thank god she left. She is such a bitch.
<silence>
- Me: Did you see that shit on her mouth… herpes anyone?
<silence>
At this point Jenn and Manuel were both giving me this look like… “shut the fuck up you stupid bitch” (you know the look Gary), and Christian was trying not to laugh.
- Me: I just fucking hate her. She is worthless.
At this point Archie got up and walked away.
- Me: What’s his problem?
- Jenn: That’s Ruby’s boyfriend you dumb ass!
- Me: Oh ooops.
Needless to say Rudy and Archie really didn’t hang around me after that, but hello… he didn’t stick up for her, so obviously he knew it was the truth.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Road Rash Incident
Apr 23rd
Unlike a lot of people I know, when I was in High School we were allowed to leave campus for lunch. During my freshman and sophomore years we would walk to nearby fast food restaurants until my junior year when my friend Amber got a car. I remember on one particular day seven of us wanted to go to McDonalds for lunch. This meant that two people would sit in the front of the car and 5 in the back. I was one of the last people to get in the car, and I had to really squeeze into the back to fit. We could barely close the door on my side. Our friend Pearl just sprawled out on top of all our laps. Keep in mind that this was before seatbelt laws folks.
To get into the drive thru at McDonalds from the direction we were coming from you have to turn left and immediately turn left again into the parking lot. So you are basically making a U-Turn. Well Amber always liked to take that turn really fast, and this time was no different. We came up on the intersection speeding, and then she started making the turn… screeching her tires. The force of it pushed everyone right on to my side of the car smashing me up against the door. The next thing I know Pearl reaches over and opens my door, and I go flying out of the car into the street! Thank goodness there were no other cars on the road or I might have been run over. Amber stopped the car in the driveway of McDonalds and all my friends start filing out laughing their asses off. The humor of the situation quickly ended as I stood up. My whole right arm was covered in blood, and I was not happy. I slowly made my way over to where everyone was, and I walked right up to Pearl and back handed her with my good arm as hard as I could while calling her a stupid bitch. Needless to say Pearl and I were not that great of friends after this.
On the plus side I got to go home for the rest of the day.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.