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Posts tagged Lady GaGa
Month in Media: April
Apr 30th
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of April!
Gary Jr.
YouTube — Jesse Tyler Ferguson Does Gaga
First, you know I love Modern Family and the gay couple. Well, what could be better than 1/2 of that gay couple singing a lounge version of Alejandro. Plus, you know how much I love loungey cocktail music. Damn. I want JTF’s babies…especially because he is gay in real life and I must therefore believe that he is also a chubby chaser (since everything on TV is true).
iPhone App — LoseIt
Yes, I jumped on the bandwagon this month thanks to Heifer 1 and Heifer 2. I’ve been dieting since April 1. I had a little set back this week only losing .5 pounds but since April 1, I have lost 8.5 pounds and 10.5 from my heaviest (which was mid-March).
Movie ReRun – Shaun of the Dead
It’s just so funny. It’s been on Comedy Central this month. I love that for the whole morning commute during the opening scenes everyone is dead tired and zombie-like and then 20 minutes those same scenes happen again except everyone around him is a zombie. I love zombie movies like nobody’s business. I even have zombie exit strategies. I think about this shit while I’m playing Catan in the restroom.
Music– Shampain by Martina and the Diamonds
So I’ve been riding my exercise bike a lot. And I’ve been grooving out to my jams. But let me tell you that I pump a lot faster when this Martina and the Diamonds diddy comes on the shuffle. The clip calls it Shampain Sleeper but it’s just Shampain. Also about 2 weeks ago, I tweeted some lyrics from this song and Nick got mad at me for drinking champagne when I should be dieting. Bitch, I was singing and not cheating. I feel celestial! Yyyes.
Benutty
Music – Mary J. Blige’s “Stairway to Heaven“
This shit is amazing. I wasn’t too big of a fan of it when it first came out, but after seeing her perform it on American Idol I jumped on board. Compared to all the other idiots who performed awful renditions of otherwise good songs (see: Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Ke$ha, Adam Lambert) on the show, MJB proved that she’s still in the business for a reason! — she knows how to sing and how to put on a good show. And, seriously, who else could pull off a LZ song like that?
Glee Quote – Santana in “The Power of Madonna”
“It’ll be great for my image, and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It’s win-win.” This bitch is so classic. Love her to death. Nick told me there’s a rumor the Cheerios might get their own spin-off, and if Santana and Brittany are a part of it then it’ll surely be gaymazing.
iPhone App – We Rule
Hello! It’s Farmville meets Sim City and it is wondrous. I got everyone hooked on it and I can’t freaking wait until I grow enough broccoli to purchase my Magic Emporium and a second Watch Tower! Ooh girl, gotta go collect taxes from my cottages. Huhhnns. I kind of want an iPad just so I can play this on a bigger screen.
D@2 Post – Guest Blog by FrankieRose
I was proud of lil sis for coming up with such a great D@2-inspired post. Before she submitted this for the Guest Blogger contest she sent me the picture via text and I almost died. This killed me. Love that Gary Jr. is a secret real estate agent in Sacramento. I bet he can spread his legs for the Real Estate King like A. Bening does in A. Beauty.
Nick
Music – Ultrasound
So I found this shizzz on iTunes a couple weeks, and it’s totally gay and I love it!! Check it out and dance.
iPhone App – Blokus
Yes Hunnnsss. Blokus has an iPhone app and it’s so goodies you’lll gag with orgasms. It’s 4.99 right now but I am sure the price will lower soon.
YouTube Clip – Bathtub Fun
It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in this video… the guy in it is fucking hot. So turn it on and take your dicks out.
D@2 Post: Sweetums Premiere
Um Gary Jr. is a damn mess and this is the proof. Love it like a cold sore.
World Premiere Video of Sweetums
Apr 8th
Hey folks and troll babies–
I’m so sorry that I’ve been silent for so long. You see, I went to the Russian River Valley for a weeklong spa vacay with Misha. It was so much fun. We drank too much wine and made way too many babies. Anyhoo, after that we headed right into the studio. I guess I forgot to tell you all that back in October Kylie’s people (Steve Anderson, thanks Stevie) caught wind of my Sweetums series. They were in Oakland for her first concert in the States and checking out the local talent. A boa and a Divine tribute later, Kylie was eating out of my well-manicured hand. Or…I was eating out of hers. She loved Sweetums and immediately offered me a recording contract on the Bubbles Devere label. Yyyyes. Hunnies is now famous.
The world premiere of my music video was awesome. Kylie showed up. Gaga was there. Oprah introduced me to my adoring fans. I wasn’t given enough tickets to invite the hunnies. Oopsies. So I sent my film crew to the Haus of Hunnies to record them on premiere night. Enjoy!
Question of the Week 03/27 – 04/02
Mar 30th
This week’s question was asked by AuntF of Benicia, CA:
Ok, so tell me, how does a middle-aged (yet, somewhat cool) straight couple attend a Lady GaGa concert and fit in? I don’t think we are part of her “Little Monsters”, but we do love her! We really want to go, but don’t want to feel old and ordinary.
No…let me break it down:
- 1. Buy matching creme nighties from Ross: Dress for Less. Don’t settle for a cheap white slip. Get the one with lace and rhinestones.
- 2. Buy a white feather boa from the Halloween Store.
- 3. Buy a wig and pink hair spray from the Wig Shop on Mission.
- 4. Go over to Nick’s house. Take over Jay’s bedroom mirror. Apply copious amounts of black eyeliner, black eyeshadow and ruby red lipstick. Foundation that shit like there’s no tomorrow to hide the stubble.
- 5. Apply your pig snout that Benutty got you.
- 6. Make a sign that says “I’m bluffin with my muffin.”
- 7. And drink like a fish. Tip well. Drink more. And evenutally the waitress will comp your drinks because you’ve given her like $50 in tips.
Double numbering is so 2010. WHHHHHHHHHHAT. GIRL. WHHHHHAT.
__________________
Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
Question of the Week 03/27 – 04/02
Mar 27th
This week’s question was asked by AuntF of Benicia, CA:
Ok, so tell me, how does a middle-aged (yet, somewhat cool) straight couple attend a Lady GaGa concert and fit in? I don’t think we are part of her “Little Monsters”, but we do love her! We really want to go, but don’t want to feel old and ordinary.
Let me break it down:
- I have met both of you and you two are anything but old and/or ordinary
- Lady Gaga loves all her fans equally no matter what the age (except for Gary Jr.)
- I’ve seen you drink girl… so pick up some beers at the concession stand and go wild (or bring some Patron… hunnns)
- Most of all… Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks… You go to that concert and have a great fucking time.
Thanks for the question btw. 
__________________
Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
Recipe for Class: GaGa Makes a Music Video Masterpiece
Mar 11th
The reason Lady GaGa is so goddamn amazing is because she cares. Caring is classy. Plain and simple. Compared to her contemporaries — politicians who don’t care enough to fix our failing system, citizens who don’t care enough to vote, blog readers who don’t care enough to comment, etc. — the Gaggers is a breath of fresh air. It’s just nice to have an entertainer who considers every aspect of her image, her audience, and her beliefs.
For evidence, look no further than the much anticipated “Telephone” video. It’s a motherfucking masterpiece. This is how you make a fucking classy music video:
And this how not to be classy:
Oops. Sorry, FrankieRose and I musta had a little too much champerelles.
Percy Jackson: The Movie
Feb 12th
Please tell me that I did not just hear Lady Gaga and Ke$ha in the middle of the new Percy Jackson movie. I was half a second away from pulling out my voice recorder and making a sweetums recording.
Basically, this movie was made for Benutty and me.
So good.
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 2nd
“Happiness is not my friends dancing around singing Lady GaGa songs with champes in their hands… It’s when they finally stop.” Exhibit A
The Scrammys
Feb 1st
Ok, we all agree that the Grammys this year were bullshit. No one believes that Saylor Twift really deserves Album of the Year. And I’m still trying to figure out who the fuck Kings of Leon are — when I Google their name all I get are Twitter feeds about how #gagawasrobbed. Oh, and although I am (and I think I stand alone on this one here at D@2) a fan of Beyonce, I don’t think Single Ladies should have even been nominated for Song of the Year — it should have been Record. Blah.
But the most disappointing part of the whole thing comes in two parts. Part 1: GaGa gets shut out of the Big 3 categories. Part 2: They didn’t even air the categories she did win in! Hello, the only reason anyone watched was to see GaGa’s performance and to check out her outfit while she gave a shout out to her gay fans in her acceptance speech! Frankly, GaGa was treated poorly by the producers of the show and they should all be shot.
Highlights?
Obvi, GaGa’s amazing performance with Elton John. Still a little disappointed that GaGa and Beyonce didn’t perform Telephone together, but it’s crazy that I never thought of putting Elton and GaGa together. It truly was magical, and enlightening to see how clearly Speechless is inspired by Elton’s music. Let’s face it, all these other bitches are fake GaGas trying to wear their faux Haus of GaGa outfits and their space-age rip-off performances (see: Black Eyed Peas backup dancers in red GaGa suits).
Bullshit.
Pink tore it up, too. Loved when she pissed all over the audience.
GrannypantieGrammys
Jan 28th
For real none of us really take the Grammys seriously because everyone is still angry O Brother Where Art Thou won Album of the Year over… wait. Nothing deserved a Grammy that year (see: India.Arie, Bob Dylan, Outkast, U2)! That’s the exact problem with the awards — they are given too randomly, too recklessly, and they try way too hard to be cute and important. Bitch, you ain’t the Soul Train Awards! Typically no one really cares about the nominees they have in place.
But this year a couple of our girls are in the running for the big awards and all of D@2 couldn’t be happier. We’re dreaming of a Beyonce vs. GaGa duet performance of Video Phone & Telephone, but we won’t hold our breath. I mean seriously, make that Telephone video already you fucking wet hens!!
All of that aside, here are the nominees in the only relevant categories this show has to offer (with a few of my lofty opinions spun in as well).
Album of the Year
- I Am… Sasha Fierce (Beyonce) want
- The E.N.D. (Black Eyed Peas)
- The Fame (Lady GaGa)
- Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King (Dave Matthews Band) will
- Fearless (Taylor Swift)
I whole-heartedly believe Beyonce’s album is the best of the year, but I’d be happy with a GaGa win as well. Dave Matthews and Swifty are the likely contenders though, considering soft rock & country have had a monopoly over the award in recent years. BEP can eat shit and die at 2.
Song of the Year
- Poker Face (Lady GaGa)
- Pretty Wings (Maxwell)
- Single Ladies (Beyonce) want
- Use Somebody (Kings of Leon)
- You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift) will
If Poker Face or Single Ladies doesn’t take this I’ll seriously die. Eventhough I’m confused as to why Single Ladies isn’t up for Record (sted Song), it still deserves some cred for revitalizing the music video industry (and YouTube) in a big way. But Poker Face is a much better song lyrically and, hello, mah mah mah. The real song of the year – Sober by Pink. “That’s right, I said it.”
Record of the Year
- Halo (Beyonce)
- I Gotta Feeling (Black Eyed Peas)
- Use Somebody (Kings of Leon)
- Poker Face (Lady GaGa) want will
- You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)
I really want Swifty to get shut out of the big ones (Nick loves her though) so I hope she doesn’t grab this one (I think she will). This award belongs to Single Ladies, but since it can’t win it should be Poker Face, huhhhhhn. Do you think Kings of Leon is a play on “lion, king of the jungle?” Die.
Best New Artist
- Zac Brown Band (who?!)
- Keri Hilson (whhhhaaaa?!)
- MGMT (who?!)
- Silversun Pickups (who?!?!)
- The Ting Tings (you mean ding-a-lings?!)
Who cares. This belongs to GaGa. But I hear a lot of hipsters sweat MGMT so they can have it if they want it.
Need-to-be Winners of the Lesser Awards:
- Female Pop Vocal – Sober (Pink)
- Male Pop Vocal – This Time (John Legend)
- Pop Vocal Album – Funhouse (Pink)
- Dance Recording – Womanizer (Britney); just kidding, as if. Poker Face (Gaggers)
- Dance Album – The Fame (The Lady)
- Female R&B Vocal – Lions, Tigers & Bears (Jazmine Sullivan); ditto on R&B Song
- Contemporary R&B Album – I Am… Sasha Fierce (Beyonce)
- Comedy Album – Suckin’ It for the Holidays (Kathy Griffin)
Also: No thank you on the Michael Jackson 3D television event of the century blackout holocaust magical shit starring Celine Dion, Carrie Underwood, and JHud. We’ll pass on that fifteen minute opening, thanks.
Double also: How dare you not have Rihanna listed as a performer. She needs to preview her next single, Rude Boy, right quick!
Where my bloggers at where my bloggers at where dey at where dey at where dey at,
Benutty
P.S. The Haus should totally come over to my place on Sunday to play Game of Things during the show! Yes? Yes. Bring champerelles.
Gary GaGa
Jan 28th
The Sweetums Series is nice and all… but lets get to the truth. When alcohol and Gary Jr. mix it’s like a drag queen puking on a passed out tranny wearing too much glitter and sequins. Sure he sings to his sweetums, but that is only on the way home from the madness. Once the booze starts flowing Gary Jr. takes off to Variety Shop on Clement Street & 4th Avenue (the best drag queen store in all of the Richmond [the neighborhood, not the ghetto city]), and this is frightening result: Gary GaGa!!!!
Dear GaGers,
Jan 7th
We implore you to end your relationship with Perez Hilton. He is a disgusting & hypocritical wet pig. Everyone gets it — you feel some sort of obligation to him because “he made you popular,” but all of your Lil Monsters out here truly believe that you would have made it just as big without his prolific endorsement.
Stop letting him call you wifey. No one wants to marry that heif.
Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn.
He makes us want to vomit. He brings down your image. As much as we love your music, your antics, your fashion, and your claws, how can we really trust someone who saddles herself up next to such a cow-wreck? If you really believe that he helped propel you into the scene then you must also believe that his drowning reputation can grab hold of your hot little thighs and drag you down with him just as easily. Girl, he’s heavy. It won’t take long to pull you under.
Really though,
Benutty
My top 10 songs of 2009
Jan 1st
This is according to my iTunes play count. Enjoy.
#10
#10: Madonna – Celebration (Benny Benassi Remix Edit)
Obviously I could not leave Madonna off this list. The original version of this song was pretty shitty, but thankfully this remix came out. It’s no wonder she used this for her video.
#9
#9: Lily Allen – The Fear
It’s too bad she is a coke whore, and decided to stop making music. Her last album “Its Not Me, It’s You” is pretty good.
#8
#8: Cobra Starship – Good Girl Gone Bad (Feat. Leighton Meester)
I typically don’t like stupid straight boy music, but this is surprisingly good. It helps that Blair from Gossip Girl is featured on it… love that bitch.
#7
#7: Dragonette – We Rule The World
Love love love this song. If there had been more time in 2009 I am sure this would have ended up a lot higher on my list.
#6
#6: Lady Gaga – Alejandro
First of all… Alejandro is my favorite name of all time. So cute. Secondly this song kick ass. Ale ale jandro ale ale jandro.
#5
#5: Lady Gaga – Dance In The Dark
This song probably wouldn’t have made it on my list if I had not seen her live. She opened the show with this and it was amazing. Every time I listen to this I think of that. So good.
#4
#4: Blake Lewis – Heartbreak On Vinyl
If you have not heard his new album then you should. It’s way better than his first album or anything he did on American Idol. Dance. Fun. Yes.
#3
#3: Lady Gaga – Monster
My new favorite song from Lady Gaga. That boy is a monster… mo mo mo monster!
#2
#2: Adam Lambert – Music Again
This is the type of song I knew he would have on his album, and it’s my favorite. This whole album is amazing actually. Even my mom loves it. Lots of his songs were in my top 20, but didn’t make it to the top 10 (For Your Entertainment, If I Had You, Sleepwalker, Fever and Broken Open)
#1
#1: Lady Gaga – Bad Romance
Duh! Obviously this was going to be number 1. The song = amazing! The video = fucking amazing! The performances = totally fucking amazing hunnneees yes! If you don’t like this song you are a damn mess and you die tonight at 2am.