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Posts tagged Johnny Weir
Wait. What???
Feb 22nd
Just had dinner with a good friend from high school and she was telling me a story about her little sister’s gay best friend that I didn’t really understand.
According to him it’s always awkward on a first date between two gays when both guys have to go to the bathroom because neither has ever “seen each other before” and so they can’t possibly go to the bathroom at the same time and neither wants to be that nerd that goes into the stall so then one goes first and then the other goes after him.
Wait. What??? I’ve never had this problem. Is it real? What does it mean “neither has ever seen each other before?” Like, I really really really like cocks, but I don’t go to the bathroom and look at other guys’ cocks so why the hell would you when you’re on a date?! You both have to go pee so you both go pee! End of fucking story, right? There’s no “omg I can’t pee next to you because we’ve never slept together and I don’t want the first time I see your penis to be when you’re peeing so let’s not go in together” because that just isn’t real.
I mean is this an actual problem? Mamis, thoughts?
P.S. Nick, you’re pee-shy so you probably can’t imagine a scenario where ANY other guy is in the bathroom with you, but for the sake of helping me understand this… please try.
I feel like this isn’t a problem at all — this fool is just a queirdo.
Dear Scott Hamilton,
Feb 19th
You are so fucking nauseating. I STG if I had to listen to one more scream out of your goddamn mouth tonight I was going to grab one of the lace strings off of Johnny Weir’s outfit and strangle you with it. It’s like every grunt, ooh, and aah that comes out of your mouth is a yelp of ecstasy from a lipstick lez. I’m so glad we don’t ever have to see your ugly mug during the performances coz no one wants to see that O face while you jiz over Lysacek’s triple-lutz-quadruple-toe-loop-spin-on-my-foot-trip-over-a-dumb-bitch-cuntbag-whore-shut-up-saokao-Michelle-Kwan-eats-dirty-ew of a jump. I’m over it. You are the worst/nastiest commentator ever!!
Seriously nauseating. How ’bout you and Bob Costas retire together at a B&B in Montana and go jerk off to old tapes of Brian Boitano and Kurt Browning.
Surya Bonaly,
Benutty
D@2 Bloggers Get Dragulated!
Feb 17th
If you aren’t already watching the second season of RuPaul’s Drag Race then you’re retarded — like seriously Johnny-Weir’s-outfit-during-the-short-program retarded. So hitch a ride on the short bus with us and watch that goddamn mess of a show already! Then you can hop onto their site and plug your fat ass into their Dragulator to find out what kinda trashy disaster of a woman you would turn out to be.
Check out our own dragulation sensations!
Benutty as Amelia Bearhart, a trained assassin and mistress of disguise. Amelia enjoys racking up the points on her Mile High Club Card while jet-setting from country to country for clandestine meetings with wealthy European businessmen and tribal kings of Africa. She also likes vodka. Hella likes vodka.
Gary Jr. as LadyBird Jr., a multiple pageant queen and mother of twelve and a half kids. LadyBird spends her days organizing charity fundraisers and sexting with former First Wives. She also has a soft spot for disabled possums and Double Doubles, and has a lifelong dream of one day living in Dollywood. Also, she once swam the length of the Amazon.
Nick as Kitty DeJoy, a sassy young gal who likes to spend her free time with her best friend Victoria Beckham, and yes… they do share her husband sometimes. And yes… David does have an exhaust pipe down there. Hunniee!
Alfie as Catanabeth, a Los Angeles socialite who partakes in all of the raunchy filth that is using Daddy’s credit cards, blowing out-of-work actors behind Pinkberry dumpsters, and Twitter-stalking the stars of The Hills. Catanabeth’s secret obsession is roleplaying in the bedroom — enjoying mostly getting fucked while dressed as a hen. Also, she’s afraid of Crayola Crayons.
Jay as Labia LaBor, an up-and-coming show queen of Miami. Ms. LaBor keeps herself busy with shows at some of Florida’s swankiest hotel parlors at night, but likes to relax during the day listening to political podcasts and the Twilight series on audio tape. Labia confesses to having a ki ki relationship with Kitty DeJoy, but this has never been confirmed by Ms. DeJoy.