Posts tagged jizz

This week’s question was asked by Jesse from New York City, NY:

Q: Answer the following taboo questions:

RELIGION, PHILOSOPHY AND POLITICS:

01) Do you believe in God?
–I’m the son of a preacher man. I grew up in churches. I went to a Christian high school, a Christian college and a Jesuit university. Do I believe in God? Hrm. Not really. I mean, it would be lovely to know that I’m going somewhere after I die and that it’s all paradise-like. I would love to kick it with the Grandma in the hereafter or on the Lost island. If God exists, he or she is making it really hard for any reasonable person to know he or she is out there or here. I’m going to need a burning bush that talks before I can know for sure. Trust me, when that happens, there will be a post.

02) What religion, if any, do you most identify yourself with?
–I sort of like what Quakerism has to offer. I like that they are one of the few religious groups that are cool with gays, nature, your neighbor and the world. I hear the Episcopalism is nice too. In the end though, I think most religions prey on our natural instincts toward the “mob” and too many religious leaders use their clout for nonsense.  

03) Do you feel that your religious beliefs have a place in the legislative process?
–In the United States, I believe that everyone is entitled to think whatever they want, but every voter should also understand that not everyone shares in those beliefs. I know some people vote based on what their heart tells them (and usually that’s in relation to their religious views). But I really feel like what’s missing in the American political machine is thoughtfulness. I don’t know how to articulate this (and so it’s going to sound stupid) but I’ve always tried to vote without thinking about religion and instead voted on what I thought was right for our country/state/county/city/citizens as a whole.

04) How do you feel about gun control in America?
–I suppose guns are important for certain tasks (like hunting caribou) but I am definitely against things like concealed automatic weapons in an urban environment. I don’t think you should be able to get a gun easily. And I certainly don’t think the United States would fall apart if certain guns were banned (like they are in the UK and Japan).  

05) Are the homosexuals going to ruin the institution of marriage in America?
–Who cares what happens to the “institution” as long as people continue to form bonds with one another, as long as they love each other, form lives and families together and protect each other? Isn’t that why there’s so much emphasis on this “institution?” Something about societal building blocks. Well, gays can do all that too. Sometimes better, sometimes worse than straights. Over it.

SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK N ROLL:

01) If you had to have sex with a celebrity that went against your sexual preference for the good of the world, who would you choose?
–Julia Roberts. Mostly for her man face and bulging forehead vein.

02) If you had to have sex with someone you know that went against your sexual preference for the good of the world, who would you choose?
–L’Angie. She’s already seen my ball (allegedly). My sweet sweet ball. Wasn’t it, L’Angie.

03) What dead person would you most like to have had sex with before they departed this mortal coil?
–Chris O’Donnell. Oh oops. Only his career is dead. He’s still alive. Scroll to 1:22.

04) Have you ever had a threesome or been involved in an orgy with more than three people?
–I’m a lady!

05) Excluding multiple partner sex, have you ever had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period?
–Maybe. Mmmhmm.

06) What about a 12 hour period you dirty whore?
–No. Thank god it didn’t say 13 hours.

07) Do you LIKE pornography you pervert?
–It’s the only thing that got me through the Dry Spell of ’07.

08) Have you ever talked on the phone during sex?
–I’ve had phone sex if that’s what you mean.

09) If so, how long was the phone conversation as opposed to the actual sex?
–Dumb.

10) Have you ever been tied up and used like the dirty slut you are?
– Even though Piggie talks a big game, we all know hog-tying is not my thing. Poor Jay.

11) What is the strangest place you have ever had sex?
–In the ass, Bob? Scroll to 2:08.

12) What is your opinion on anal sex?
–Piggie’s right it does take some work. But the payoff is WONDERFUL. I will have anal with a fox. I will have anal in a box. I will have anal here or there. I will have anal everywhere.

13) Okay be honest – do you REALLY like performing oral sex or is it just a necessary evil you have to commit to in order to please your partner and wait for your turn?
–Sure thing. If it’s too small then it’s gross. If it’s too huge, then I can’t breathe. But I would rather choke than deal with a tiny cock. Oops.

14) Did you fall in love with the first person other than yourself who gave you an orgasm?
–Nope. I’m gay. If I fell in love with her, I’d be a straightie. And my personal chant and motto has always been “Straighties Go Home!”

15) Lastly, to give our readers something to savor, have you ever tasted your own jizz?
–Sure have. I’m gobbling it down or anything but I wanted to know. It smelled of roses and tasted like the purest whipped cream.
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.

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