Next stop… Whores!
Posts tagged Posts by Jay
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Chicken Incident
Apr 1st
About 5 or 6 years ago Jay moved in with Gary Jr. I didn’t really know Gary Jr. at the time, and it was not easy getting to know him since he was forever out drinking with his friends. Sometime in late September/early October Jay went to Southern California for some union bullshit, and Gary Jr. invited me to hang out with him and his other roommate.
I had met Gary Jr. at some weird farmer’s market thing in the Civic Center area, and he was holding a live chicken. He kept making jokes about fattening it up and eating it later on. Now I didn’t know him that well, so I figured anything was possible. It just made the experience of living in San Francisco even stranger. But you know I wasn’t going to ask questions or anything. He wasn’t used to my brutal honesty yet.
We decided to head back to his place and clean up before going out for drinks. I got on the 5-Fulton bus first and then Gary Jr. attempted to as well. The bus driver stopped him:
- Bus Driver: No live chickens on the bus!
- Gary Jr.: What? I’m not going to let it loose or anything.
- Bus Driver: No… No live chickens!
I stood up thinking we were going to have to get off the bus, but then Gary Jr. did something so shocking! He looked down at the chicken, grabbed its neck and broke it… killing the chicken! He then looked back at the driver, and walked passed him and sat down by me. I was in shock, and I was embarrassed… and I kinda felt bad for the chicken.
- Me: So what are you going to do with it now?
- Gary Jr.: I’ll eat it. So what, who cares!
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Speaking Of Messes…
Oct 9th
Look what I found on Jay this morning… He claims he doesn’t know where it’s from, but he thinks it might be from the booze fairies. You decide…
Who Put The Monkey on the Front Page?
Aug 22nd
LA’s Daily News. Who took the photo of Jay? I want answers!!
Extravaganza Eleganza!
Aug 2nd
I’d just like to thank everyone who made it out to my fabulous birthday party this weekend. Twas fun! Special thanks to my favorite queens Dixie Normus, Amelia Bearhart, Miss Take, Sham Payne, and the hostess cupcake with the mostess… Shalita Double-Double. Your performances were amazing!!! Special thanks to Misha, and Jay for doing an excellent job as well.
If you missed the party… sorry… your loss. This party was soooo hot even Snooki showed up. Looks like she found a new shore to party at!
Busted!
Jul 24th
Lets set the stage: Tony, Joey, Shahla and I are pool side relaxing in san jose. I’m just minding my own business as my friend Tony talks about his upcoming wedding. His bride to be is Chinese, and he mentioned that there were some traditional Chinese things that he had to do with her family before the wedding. He mentions that he has to give her family a well fatten pig with a curly tail to prove her virginity. Then Shahla turns around and looks at me and says “there you go”. Oh hunnnnnie. She dies tonight at 2am.
I blame this on Gary Jr. Just so you know.