And I have found my own “In Defense of Trolls” video. I think this video captures pretty much everything you jerks need to know and/or think about me. First off, I like Russians. (Hey Misha!) I am a cow. (Hey ??????!) I always have a boombox around my neck. (Hello iPod!) Hella thugs in red doo-rags are always trying to play with my udders and/or feet (Hey Oakland!) I love eating. (Hey plunger! Hey rubix cube! Hey shoe! Hey poop water!) I am asthmatic. (Hey pipe smoke!) And my bodily fluids…well, you get the picture. (HONK!)

So without further ado, please enjoy a video about me: “??? ?????? ?? ??? ???”