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Posts tagged high school
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Father Incident
Dec 8th
Shortly after my family moved from Santa Maria to Sacramento my dad asked me to mow the grass. It was like 101 outside and I was not about to have any of it. Plus I was still mad at my dad for getting a job in Sacramento, and forcing me to leave all my friends and finish my senior year of high school in another city. (Seriously… all you parents out there… do not move your kids to new schools, it is just cruel.)
- Me: It’s too hot outside to mow the grass
- Dad: I’m not asking you… I’m telling you
- Me: No!… it’s too HOT outside.
- Dad: HEY! You’ll do what I tell you.
- Me: Really? You’re going to force me to do it? I’d like to see you try.
- Dad: You’re fucking worthless!
- Me: I hate you.
My dad then opened the front door and slammed it closed, which alerted my mom from the other room.
- Mom: Hey! What’s going on? You’ll knock my plates off the walls.
- Me: Dad is being an asshole
- Mom: Stop that!
- Me: You can’t ignore me my whole life and then suddenly because you have a heart attack become my parent again!
<Back story: My dad had a heart attack 2 years prior. This happened right after the company he worked for went under which is why he had to find a new job.>
What I hadn’t realized was my dad heard my last comment to my mom.
- Dad: Follow my rules or you can get the fuck out.
- Me: Fine… I will leave. I’d rather be anywhere than with you. I wish you had died when you had that heart attack!
- Mom: Nick! Apologize.
- Me: No!
I walked over to my room and slammed the door. I turned on some Smashing Pumpkins and blasted it. My dad and I really didn’t talk for a long time after that. I never apologized either because I don’t feel I need to. He seriously didn’t do shit until after his heart attack and by that time it was too late. He missed his chance, and although I am glad now that he didn’t die, it’s not like he ever apologized to me for being absent or calling me worthless. So whatever!
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Shit Talking Incident
Jul 22nd
This is Part II of the Soda & Ivy Incident:
So in High School Ruby and I hung out with the same crowds, but we always tried to stay away from each other. I have to admit that she did become nicer in her old age, but at the time I was not a very forgiving person and I talked mad shit about her every chance I got. Plus it got me laughs, and who doesn’t like that.
So one day during our lunch break we were sitting around in our usual spot. Most of my friends were there… Jenn the closet lezbo, Christian the gayest man I ever met who wasn’t gay (sorry Alfie), Manuel the other big homo on campus (who I wanted to screw), Archie the douche bag who I really didn’t know, but assumed he was a douche bag because that’s how I roll, and Ruby the cunty skank.
We were all sitting around talking shit about our teachers and the drama folks, when Ruby got up and said she was meeting with a teacher or some shit, and walked away. That’s when I sprang into action:
- Me: Thank god she left. She is such a bitch.
<silence>
- Me: Did you see that shit on her mouth… herpes anyone?
<silence>
At this point Jenn and Manuel were both giving me this look like… “shut the fuck up you stupid bitch” (you know the look Gary), and Christian was trying not to laugh.
- Me: I just fucking hate her. She is worthless.
At this point Archie got up and walked away.
- Me: What’s his problem?
- Jenn: That’s Ruby’s boyfriend you dumb ass!
- Me: Oh ooops.
Needless to say Rudy and Archie really didn’t hang around me after that, but hello… he didn’t stick up for her, so obviously he knew it was the truth.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Road Rash Incident
Apr 23rd
Unlike a lot of people I know, when I was in High School we were allowed to leave campus for lunch. During my freshman and sophomore years we would walk to nearby fast food restaurants until my junior year when my friend Amber got a car. I remember on one particular day seven of us wanted to go to McDonalds for lunch. This meant that two people would sit in the front of the car and 5 in the back. I was one of the last people to get in the car, and I had to really squeeze into the back to fit. We could barely close the door on my side. Our friend Pearl just sprawled out on top of all our laps. Keep in mind that this was before seatbelt laws folks.
To get into the drive thru at McDonalds from the direction we were coming from you have to turn left and immediately turn left again into the parking lot. So you are basically making a U-Turn. Well Amber always liked to take that turn really fast, and this time was no different. We came up on the intersection speeding, and then she started making the turn… screeching her tires. The force of it pushed everyone right on to my side of the car smashing me up against the door. The next thing I know Pearl reaches over and opens my door, and I go flying out of the car into the street! Thank goodness there were no other cars on the road or I might have been run over. Amber stopped the car in the driveway of McDonalds and all my friends start filing out laughing their asses off. The humor of the situation quickly ended as I stood up. My whole right arm was covered in blood, and I was not happy. I slowly made my way over to where everyone was, and I walked right up to Pearl and back handed her with my good arm as hard as I could while calling her a stupid bitch. Needless to say Pearl and I were not that great of friends after this.
On the plus side I got to go home for the rest of the day.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.