My friend Vanessa and I decided one day to go to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. I ordered a cheeseburger and fries, and she ordered something that made her fat. Anyways I reached for the ketchup, and shook the bottle. There is nothing worse than pouring ketchup out of a bottle, and the only thing that comes out is that weird watery stuff. Gross! You have to mix that shit before you pour it. So here I am shaking away when suddenly the cap flies off, and before I know it ketchup splatters all over my face. I mean it was everywhere, covering one of my eyes, in my hair, in my ear… awful. Vanessa just gasped, and didn’t say a word. Probably because back then I had a very short temper and this was just the thing to set me off. Everything just kind of went silent until I started to hear laughs from the other diners. I asked Vanessa to give me some napkins, and started to clean my face off. Some random diners also walked over and gave me their napkins. Since I was in shock I really didn’t even think about losing my shit. I mean how can you really get pissed at anyone but yourself in this situation. Eventually I had to go to the bathroom and wash my hair in the sink using hand soap as shampoo. Unfortunately the counter tops in the bathroom were all wet, and when I bent down to wash my hair my shirt got soaked. I came out of the bathroom looking like a complete mess. I finished my cold cheeseburger and left.

I was going to go home and take a shower right away, but I decided to go to the mall with Vanessa and shop a little first. A couple hours later I headed home to finally take a shower when I ran into my neighbor Kisha:

  • Kisha: Oh my god… what happened man?
  • Me: What?
  • Kisha: Dude… you’re bleeding.
  • Me: What? Where?
  • Kisha: Behind your ear.

I reached up to feel behind my ear, and there was a big glob of ketchup there. So embarrassing, I walked all over the mall with ketchup behind my ear.

So yea.. Remember to check the cap before shaking the bottle. Okay!

And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.