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Posts tagged Gary Jr.
Look What I Caught Gary Jr. Doing
Jan 4th
Gary Jr. was caught at Nicks mom’s house again playing dress up with her dolls.
Who Said It?
Jan 3rd
This was over heard while someone was on the way to Gary jr.’s new years eve party. who said the following?
“Do you think Gary Jr. sprung for plastic cups or are we going to be drinking out of mason jars again?”
A) Alfie
B) Benutty
C) Jay
D) Nick
E) Kitty
F) Foot Thug-Lite
Question of the Week (07/20 – 07/26)
Jul 20th
This week’s question was asked by Calipeach of Palmdale, CA:
I’d like each of you to give three guesses as to what Gary Jr. might find hiding in his belly flap. Of course if three guesses is not enough, by all means give as many as needed?
Thanks for the question Calipeach… You know this question is asked a lot by those who know Gary Jr. The deep crevices of his belly flap can hold a whole assortment of things at any time. For a long time now it was believed that only his wallet, phone, and a 6 pack of condoms were in there (you never know how lucky you are gonna get), but recently he surprised me….
We were driving thru Napa wine country on a beautiful hot summer day when suddenly we both had the urge to stop and buy a bottle of wine at my favorite winery Peju. I ended up buying a case of their Carnival dessert wine. It’s very delicious. We continued driving thru wine country when the heat just got so unbearable. As a joke, I told Gary Jr. that we should just open a bottle and start drinking. After all, it takes a lot of wine to get me drunk… ok! He loved the idea, but soon I realized that we didn’t have any wine glasses, or a bottle opener. No sooner was I about to mention it did Gary Jr. pull a wine opener out from under his belly flap. I gasp and said “You’ve got to be kidding me you stupid awful bitch!”… He glanced over at me and yelled out “A lady is always prepared for anything!”. Once he got the bottle open I figured we would just take turns drinking from the bottle but again I was surprised when Gary Jr. pulled two wine glasses out from his belly flap. After I removed what looked like belly button lint out of my glass I poured me some wine and drank up. How impressed was I? Later that day when we got hungry he even pulled out some little sandwiches…. but he told me… “I used to carry the mayo on the side, as not everyone likes it, but then I had that incident with the jar of mayo breaking…. ouch!”
__________________
Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
29 Years Ago Today
May 25th
29 years ago today the world was damned by the birth of an unlikely rose. At first it seemed like any other rose… green stems, thorny with a small bud on top. But soon it began blossoming… though its petals did not look like the rest. They were bright, and purple in color. The aroma it oozed was strong and potent. One day a bee with an unusually long thick stinger flew too close to him, and suddenly like a black hole its suction grabbed a hold of this poor bee. The bee tried to fight its pull but its tiny wings were not strong enough. It pulled the bee in and out… in and out… again.. and again.. and again… until finally the bee released it’s poison into the purple rose and died.
So is life as Gary Jr.
Happy Birthday Bitch!
When did Gary Jr. start calling himself Jason?
May 13th
Smart way to hide the neck fat there, Gary. Wish I had though of that.
It’s Odd
Jan 27th
It’s odd to have that moment sitting in your cubicle at work watching a YouTube clip where you go…”Oh my god. How did a video of me as a child leak onto YouTube.” My sisters are certainly selling these videos and profitting from the 50lb video camera my parents purchased in the 1980s. Then you realize instead that it’s some shitty little kid and he’s stealing your schtick. That shoulda been me! TWENTY YEARS AGO, NICOLAS. Don’t fall asleep before 2am, Nicky.
Skip to 1:30 if you want to see what I mean.
Thanks 3rin
Benutty v. Gary Jr.
Jan 4th
In order to prove what a goddamn mess he is, your Honor, I’d like to call the defendant, Gary Jr., to the stand.
Rests,
Benutty
Shouldn’t Have Said It Then
Jan 3rd
Kinda like gchat, the best thing about the iPhone is that it stores every fucking text conversation you’ve ever had. So why not show how much I adore all of the other pinot-grigio-drinking-so-what-who-cares contributors by posting some of the things we’ve said to, and about, each other.
Nov 28, 2009 9:45 PM
(between Nick & Benutty)Benutty
Gary Jr. just told me he’s at a sports bar in north hollywoodNick
Oh lord. He is a messYeah I know he’s so dumb I hate him
I want to hit u both upside ur heads with empty champes bottles I will have finished
Oh hunnnee. Never going to happen.
Why not
Because I’ll have drank them faster than you.
Oops I forgot
Nov 28, 2009 11:29 PM
(between Gary Jr. & Benutty)Gary Jr.
[insert voice memo text of Lady Sings the Blues]xoxo
Benutty
There are no words to describe…Track repeat go on and on.
I’m getting your boyfriend earplugs for Christmas
Nov 28, 2009 11:31 PM
(between Nick & Benutty)
Benutty
I hate Gary Jr. so fucking muchNick
You love it. Lol.No I don’t
I just died over that
The wind is making my building really scary right now
[Nick receives Lady Sings the Blues]
Lol. Omg. Gary Jr. is a mess
Yeh now do u hate him?!
I hate him so much.
Told u
He’s such a goddamn disaster
Such a mess. I hate it
I can’t wait to punch him in the face
Lol.
I’d save so much money if I were allergic to music
And alcohol
For real.
Nov. 30, 2009 9:46 AM
(between Gary Jr. & Benutty)Benutty
[insert photo text of Nick next to fake giraffe at the Academy of Sciences]
Gary Jr.
You bitches better not be at the zooThat’s a pic of him a long time ago at the sceience museum. But yeh we r at the zoo
You stupid cow.
The best part is that apparently the Tarot was right – someone was going to die by champes bottle upside the head, and Pig did finish it faster.
Damn,
Benutty