Next stop… Whores!
Posts tagged friends
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 25th
So yesterday our AIDS/LifeCycle group met to plan shitz, and afterward we decided to go to our teammates house. Shawnito didn’t want to go because he was being a total lame ass, but I forced him. After about 10 minutes of hanging out Shawnito left.
Cut to today’s conversation:
Me: Why did you even go all the way to our friends house if you were just going to leave hella fast.
Shawnito: Well I was trying to go home earlier until you said “don’t be a Gary Jr.”
Me: Oh… so what if I had said that the second time you tried to leave.
Shawnito: Then I would have said “Oh I’ll show you a Gary Jr.”
Me: What?… and then you just raise your shirt? Hahahaha
Who Said It?
Aug 25th
i dont do fat friends anymore
who said it?
Alfie
Benutty
Gary Jr.
Jay
Nick
Shawnito
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Shit Talking Incident
Jul 22nd
This is Part II of the Soda & Ivy Incident:
So in High School Ruby and I hung out with the same crowds, but we always tried to stay away from each other. I have to admit that she did become nicer in her old age, but at the time I was not a very forgiving person and I talked mad shit about her every chance I got. Plus it got me laughs, and who doesn’t like that.
So one day during our lunch break we were sitting around in our usual spot. Most of my friends were there… Jenn the closet lezbo, Christian the gayest man I ever met who wasn’t gay (sorry Alfie), Manuel the other big homo on campus (who I wanted to screw), Archie the douche bag who I really didn’t know, but assumed he was a douche bag because that’s how I roll, and Ruby the cunty skank.
We were all sitting around talking shit about our teachers and the drama folks, when Ruby got up and said she was meeting with a teacher or some shit, and walked away. That’s when I sprang into action:
- Me: Thank god she left. She is such a bitch.
<silence>
- Me: Did you see that shit on her mouth… herpes anyone?
<silence>
At this point Jenn and Manuel were both giving me this look like… “shut the fuck up you stupid bitch” (you know the look Gary), and Christian was trying not to laugh.
- Me: I just fucking hate her. She is worthless.
At this point Archie got up and walked away.
- Me: What’s his problem?
- Jenn: That’s Ruby’s boyfriend you dumb ass!
- Me: Oh ooops.
Needless to say Rudy and Archie really didn’t hang around me after that, but hello… he didn’t stick up for her, so obviously he knew it was the truth.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Gasoline Incident
Jan 28th
One day we had a barbecue for my birthday, and I had all my friends from around the neighborhood over. Once all the festivities died down the old folk settled down indoors while my friends and I played in the front yard. The barbecue pit, which was in our driveway, was still pretty hot, so my friends and I were throwing leaves in to watch them burn. Just then I had an idea. You see the first Gulf War had just ended earlier that year, and I remember watching CNN report on all the burning oil fields in Kuwait. They were burning for so long I obviously had to test this myself. How long does it take for oil to burn?
My friends and I heading into the garage to find oil, but since we couldn’t find any we decided to use gasoline instead. My dad always had a giant can of gasoline in the garage to fill the lawnmower up. I ran into the house and got a small plastic cup, met my friends in the garage, filled it with gasoline, and took it to the driveway. I snapped off a stick from our tree, and placed it in a hot spot in the barbecue pit. Once the stick caught fire, I tapped the gas with the flame. My friends and I watched as the gas burned slower than expected. We were very proud of ourselves when suddenly the cup started melting. We watched with horrified looks on our faces as the cup started melting down spilling the gasoline out which ran down the driveway. Unfortunately for us my mom’s car was in the driveway, and all the gas, which was still on fire, was running down underneath her car. We panicked! One of my friends ran home while the other yelled that the car was going to blow up and ran for the backyard. I ran to the front of the house, and grabbed the hose. I turned on the water, and ran to the driveway. As I started to spray the effected areas with water I noticed the gutter was also on fire now. I continued to run water down the driveway into the gutter for another 10 minutes. Once we felt the danger was over, I picked up what was left of my cup, and threw it into the ditch behind my house where I knew my mom and dad would never find it.
You would think that I learned a lesson that day… don’t play with fire!! Sadly that lesson wasn’t learned until after the gun powder incident, but we’ll save that for another day.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.