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Posts tagged embarrassing
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Masturbation Incident
May 22nd
Posted by Nick in Greatest Moments
At some point in your late teens to early twenties you realize that living on your own, away from your parents, is the best thing for you. No matter how much your parents help you out financially or how cool they are, we all come to the conclusion that we could do without them. When I was 20 years old I had one bad day that made me realize I needed to get out.
I had just finished lunch one day, and I went up to my room to fool around online. I ended up looking at inappropriate pictures of naked men. My favorite. I had just recently came out, so I was still being cautious about doing or saying anything gay in front of my parents. If I even heard anyone coming down the hallway I always closed whatever I was looking at. Unfortunately for me sometimes people are not as loud as I would hope. I had just opened a random picture of a close up of a man’s hairy asshole when my mom walked in the room. Thankfully my first reaction was to turn off the monitor, and act like she scared me (which she actually did). I’m almost positive that she had to have known what I was looking at. It was embarrassing.
Later on that day (around 7pm) after dinner I went to my room, and sat on my couch. My room had a couch, TV and a coffee table, so that I could have friends over and watch TV without having to be around my Dad. Anyways I decided to masturbate. Everyone was still eating dinner and watching Jeopardy downstairs so I knew I had some time to fool around. Well I must have fallen asleep while masturbating because the next thing I knew it was 9pm, and I was sitting on the couch with my dick in my hand still. I totally panicked! What if someone came in and saw me, and then quietly went back out because they were embarrassed for me? I died! I didn’t leave my room the rest of the night. Oh my god… so embarrassing.
It was after this day that I decided I needed to get the hell out of my parent’s house. I needed privacy, and a place to masturbate without getting caught.
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Toilet Paper Incident
Jul 30th
Posted by Nick in Greatest Moments
Don’t you hate when you poop and it comes out all messy then it takes like half of a roll of toiler paper to clean all that shit off? OMG so annoying right! Well when I was like 5 or 6 this happened to me, and at the time I didn’t realize that toilets can only handle so much toilet paper. Yup, the toilet overflowed all over the bathroom. My mom was pretty pissed off, and my brother teased me for a long time about this.
Well I was not about to let that happen again, so I started flushing multiple times to make sure everything could go down easy. Unfortunately one day my brother over heard me flush a couple times, and then continue to tease me for taking big dumps. How nice of him.
So now I am not only freaked out about the toilet over flowing from gross poops, but also about flushing multiple times. I hated being teased when I was younger so I had to make sure not to do anything that would bring attention.
Finally I came up with an idea. I would wipe like I always do, but if I felt like I was using too much toilet paper I would simply just throw the toilet paper in the trash rather than flushing it. I thought I was so smarties. Sadly what I didn’t realize was how awful poop smells, and suddenly everyone in my family was like… “Why does the bathroom always smell like shit?” I went along with it, and blamed my sister’s friends because I really didn’t like them anyways.
Apparently my mom was one sneaky lady, and some how figured out I was the one throwing poopy toilet paper in the trash rather then the toilet. I told her why, and she promised not to tell anyone else that it was me as long as I stopped doing it. So that is when I learned to use as little toilet paper as possible when wiping my ass. Ugh… embarrassing!
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.