Posts tagged dumpster

Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Dumpster Incident

Feb 22nd

Posted by Nick in Greatest Moments

5 comments

Back when I lived in Sacramento I worked on the same block as all the gay bars, so you can imagine how many happy hours turned into all night drunken disasters. It also didn’t help that I worked with a bunch of alcoholic pushers. My co-workers and I frequently went to the bars after work (or during work) for drinks and fun. I remember this one night when my co-workers and I had just left the bars after happy hour and went our separate ways while heading home. I got to my car and decided that I could use one more drink. Well one more drink ended up being like 6 more drinks.

Cut to me at the bar still around 1 in the morning, and flirting with all the cute Mexican boys. Somehow I must have found a little Mexican who was just as drunk as me, and we made our way outside to go to his car for some naked fun. While walking down the street he saw some of his friends walking toward us and he grabbed my hand and forced me in between a wall and a dumpster. Apparently he didn’t want to be found. The things a guy will do to get off!

While hiding by the dumpster we couldn’t wait any longer and just started going at it. I got on my knees and did my job, and then he did the same. Afterward I walked him to his car, and said bye. Still don’t know who he was or what his name was. Oh well. Then I started walking to my car. I had to walk by all the gay bars to get to my car, and all the folks out in front of the bars seemed to be having a good time. Lots of laughing, and stuff, but then I realized that they were laughing at me. I looked down at myself and my zipper was down, and my knees were hella dirty and slimy looking. Who knows what was on the ground around that dumpster. I must have looked like a tragic mess! I felt my face get warm with embarrassment, but then I thought “fuck it”. I just looked at those bitches and said… “Girl… sometimes you gotta get down and dirty”, and I just kept walking.

And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.

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Question of the Week (02/27 – 03/05)

Mar 1st

Posted by Nick in Question of the Week

2 comments

This week’s question was asked by Jesse from New York City, NY:

Q: Answer the following taboo questions:

RELIGION, PHILOSOPHY AND POLITICS:

01) Do you believe in God?
–Although I enjoy fairy tales, I do not believe they actually exist.

02) What religion, if any, do you most identify yourself with?
–I don’t identify with any religion.  Organized religion is wrong.

03) Do you feel that your religious beliefs have a place in the legislative process?
–I don’t think anyone’s religious beliefs should have a place in politics.

04) How do you feel about gun control in America?
–I am against guns. We should repeal the 2nd amendment.

05) Are the homosexuals going to ruin the institution of marriage in America?
–Heterosexuals have already done that.

SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK N ROLL:

01) If you had to have sex with a celebrity that went against your sexual preference for the good of the world, who would you choose?
–Madonna (duh)

02) If you had to have sex with someone you know that went against your sexual preference for the good of the world, who would you choose?
–Irene haha

03) What dead person would you most like to have had sex with before they departed this mortal coil?
–Um… JFK Jr.

04) Have you ever had a threesome or been involved in an orgy with more than three people?
–Of course… many times.

05) Excluding multiple partner sex, have you ever had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period?
–Sure have.

06) What about a 12 hour period you dirty whore?
–No… I am not a dirty whore thank you very much!

07) Do you LIKE pornography you pervert?
–Probably not as much as everyone else, but I do enjoy it.   The problem here is finding something with men I find attractive.

08) Have you ever talked on the phone during sex?
–I think I did once a long time ago.

09) If so, how long was the phone conversation as opposed to the actual sex?
–It was a short conversation.

10) Have you ever been tied up and used like the dirty slut you are?
–Do I look like Gary Jr?  Nope.. I don’t like that kind of stuff.

11) What is the strangest place you have ever had sex?
–Next to a dumpster in an alley, or in a restaurant bathroom.

12) What is your opinion on anal sex?
–It takes a lot of work.  Preparing, executing, cleaning… It’s not always worth the time.

13) Okay be honest – do you REALLY like performing oral sex or is it just a necessary evil you have to commit to in order to please your partner and wait for your turn?
–I like doing it.  Doesn’t bother me I guess. (Jay… don’t get ideas)

14) Did you fall in love with the first person other than yourself who gave you an orgasm?
–No… the first person to give me an orgasm was lame, and uneventful.

15) Lastly, to give our readers something to savor, have you ever tasted your own jizz?
–Of course I have.  There is no way any guy has never done this… curiosity is a bitch!
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.

Submit your own Question of the Week.

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