Posts tagged david beckham

If you aren’t already watching the second season of RuPaul’s Drag Race then you’re retarded — like seriously Johnny-Weir’s-outfit-during-the-short-program retarded. So hitch a ride on the short bus with us and watch that goddamn mess of a show already! Then you can hop onto their site and plug your fat ass into their Dragulator to find out what kinda trashy disaster of a woman you would turn out to be.

Check out our own dragulation sensations!

Benutty as Amelia Bearhart, a trained assassin and mistress of disguise. Amelia enjoys racking up the points on her Mile High Club Card while jet-setting from country to country for clandestine meetings with wealthy European businessmen and tribal kings of Africa. She also likes vodka. Hella likes vodka.

Gary Jr. as LadyBird Jr., a multiple pageant queen and mother of twelve and a half kids. LadyBird spends her days organizing charity fundraisers and sexting with former First Wives. She also has a soft spot for disabled possums and Double Doubles, and has a lifelong dream of one day living in Dollywood. Also, she once swam the length of the Amazon.

Nick as Kitty DeJoy, a sassy young gal who likes to spend her free time with her best friend Victoria Beckham, and yes… they do share her husband sometimes.  And yes… David does have an exhaust pipe down there. Hunniee!

Alfie as Catanabeth, a Los Angeles socialite who partakes in all of the raunchy filth that is using Daddy’s credit cards, blowing out-of-work actors behind Pinkberry dumpsters, and Twitter-stalking the stars of The Hills. Catanabeth’s secret obsession is roleplaying in the bedroom — enjoying mostly getting fucked while dressed as a hen. Also, she’s afraid of Crayola Crayons.

Jay as Labia LaBor, an up-and-coming show queen of Miami. Ms. LaBor keeps herself busy with shows at some of Florida’s swankiest hotel parlors at night, but likes to relax during the day listening to political podcasts and the Twilight series on audio tape. Labia confesses to having a ki ki relationship with Kitty DeJoy, but this has never been confirmed by Ms. DeJoy.