Q: What TV commercial bothers you the most?

Hi Jimmy. Thanks for your question. This is SUCH an important question because there are so many commercials that make me want to kill myself and I want to share my pain with others. There’s that Olympic commercial with the patients saying AAH which they turn into a song. Eww. That makes me want to gag. But there’s something even worse. 9 times worse.

There is a series of 9 commercials from one website that make me want to murder the world. That website is www.freecreditreport.com. And each one of their commercials has its own special name. One is called Rollercoaster. One is called Renaissance Fair. But the absolute worst is called ROCKSTAR. Does it bother you bitches too? Those band members are ugly. Well, I say all of the band members are ugly but that’s not true. Especially for the Cro-Magnon drummer. Mmhmm. Oh who am I kidding? He’s not a Cro-Magnon; he’s a cutie! I would have sex with Mario Telaro in a freecreditreport.com minute. He could ride in my Pinto with a Zack Morris cellular phone any day. Hey Mario, I’ve got a 798 on my credit score. Come n get it drummer boy. Paa bump in my rump, pretty please, drummer boy.

(Dear Mario Telaro, If you ever read this post when you google your name, please send me a headshot and what is your least favorite commercial. I promise I will include a better picture of you and will give you mad props. However, if it’s one of your other band members…meh. It’s gary@deadat2am.com in case you were curious. Toodles!)

The Only Cro-Magnon I'd Do

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