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Posts tagged Condoms
Question of the Week (07/20 – 07/26)
Jul 20th
This week’s question was asked by Calipeach of Palmdale, CA:
I’d like each of you to give three guesses as to what Gary Jr. might find hiding in his belly flap. Of course if three guesses is not enough, by all means give as many as needed?
Thanks for the question Calipeach… You know this question is asked a lot by those who know Gary Jr. The deep crevices of his belly flap can hold a whole assortment of things at any time. For a long time now it was believed that only his wallet, phone, and a 6 pack of condoms were in there (you never know how lucky you are gonna get), but recently he surprised me….
We were driving thru Napa wine country on a beautiful hot summer day when suddenly we both had the urge to stop and buy a bottle of wine at my favorite winery Peju. I ended up buying a case of their Carnival dessert wine. It’s very delicious. We continued driving thru wine country when the heat just got so unbearable. As a joke, I told Gary Jr. that we should just open a bottle and start drinking. After all, it takes a lot of wine to get me drunk… ok! He loved the idea, but soon I realized that we didn’t have any wine glasses, or a bottle opener. No sooner was I about to mention it did Gary Jr. pull a wine opener out from under his belly flap. I gasp and said “You’ve got to be kidding me you stupid awful bitch!”… He glanced over at me and yelled out “A lady is always prepared for anything!”. Once he got the bottle open I figured we would just take turns drinking from the bottle but again I was surprised when Gary Jr. pulled two wine glasses out from his belly flap. After I removed what looked like belly button lint out of my glass I poured me some wine and drank up. How impressed was I? Later that day when we got hungry he even pulled out some little sandwiches…. but he told me… “I used to carry the mayo on the side, as not everyone likes it, but then I had that incident with the jar of mayo breaking…. ouch!”
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
Month in Media: March
Mar 31st
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of March!
Nick
Contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race: Raven
I seriously hated this bitch when the show first started, but now that we are down to the top 4… I can’t get enough. She is such a god damn bitch she kills me. I love how much she hates Tatiana.
TV Show: Chelsea Lately
Late nights would not be the same without Chelsea Handler. I love the way she interviews people, and she will just stare at them with that blank disgusted look. So good. The clip I linked to is one of my favorite interviews she has done.
YouTube Clip: How to Put on a Condom
Tyler Oakley makes a lot of cute lil videos on YouTube. He is a very witty guy, and always makes me laugh. This clip of him putting condoms on random shit had me weak. Loves it.
American Idol Contestant: Lee DeWyze
Oh hunnnns. Sadly he is the only decently looking guy on American Idol this year, and although he is not my ideal type of man his voice makes up for it. I just think it is very sexy sounding. It makes my butthole pucker. You know what I am saying?
D@2 Post: So What! Who Cares!?!
As usual this damn mess always gets me with his So What! Who Cares!?! shit. March isn’t even Stroke Awareness month, but thanks for the heads up. Die!
D@2 Best Comment: Alfie from D@2 Caption This!
“3. Cows never lose the instinctive need for mothers utters. Gary uses beer bottles to cope.” Love it. Good job lil Alfie.
Gary Jr.
Music for the Hunnies: Rocket by Goldfrapp
Big thanks to Nick for introducing me to Goldfrapp’s latest hit Rocket. Goldfrapp popped out a new album and not all of it is good. But I certainly love this one and also I Want a Life. God I love it. Let the legwarmers and flashdances begin again!
TV Episode: Ab Aeterno
No seriously. Lost killed me this month. The episode called Ab Aeterno where Richard Alpert’s story is finally revealed was an amazing moment for all Lost fans. I’m still not sure if I really like where the story might be headed or any of the explanations about what the island really is. I simply just don’t know. However, this was a beautiful episode and a win for Nestor Carbonell.
YouTube Clip: Piano Chat Improv
So there’s this new thing called Chatroullete or something and it puts random strangers into a room together to chat. I don’t know exactly what the hell it is and frankly I don’t care. But anyway…Jay sent me this clip that totally killed me. I watched the whole thing and laughed the whole time. This piano man is super talented.
American Idol Contestant: Nobody
Sorry. I just didn’t really like anyone this month on American Idol. I mean, it’s very generic. Even the good people aren’t surprising me and making me this that’s a star. I mean the Janis Joplin linebacker is likely going to win but frankly so what who cares! Also, what’s wrong with all the teeth on American Idol. Have you seen Bowersox and Urban smile? Something’s amiss.
D@2 Post: Troll Dance
As all of you know, I simply love watching Benutty dance. It must be all that black semen cuz homegirl’s got the moves. I guess I also like watching her dance for the same reason I bottleneck on the freeway when there’s an accident or why I laugh when children fall down. Regardless, this is one of our best posts this month because it was created by one of my favorite hunnies and because it stars one of my favorite hunnies.
Benutty
Music Milestone – GaGa Earns 6th Consecutive Pop #1 with “Telephone“
Hello! GaGa is pure genius in every fucking way possible. And I’m still not over her video masterpiece of a film. I’m hoping her next single, Alejandro, goes to #1, too, making her the female artist with the most U.S. Pop #1s and solidifying her record of consecutive ones!
American Idol Performance – Siobhan Magnus, “House of the Rising Sun“
From the very first note I knew this would be one of the best Idol performances ever. Siobhan has a crazy style and a near immaculate voice, making her the only thing that could have saved AI post-Glambert.
TV Series – Life
OMG. I spent Monday watching 4 of these in a row (Challenges, Reptiles/Amphibians, Mammals, and Fish) and I am completely in love. Like Planet Earth, Life brings together some crazy good footage of wildlife in slow motion. Among the best shots so far are komodo dragons stalking a wounded water buffalo for days, a pebble toad escaping a predator by going ridged and rolling itself down a mountain, baby mudskippers spitting out mudballs, and the hungry tongues of a chameleon grabbing things from 50 feet away (so Gary Jr. of them)!
D@2 Posts – Nick’s Diet Updates
I’m so proud of hog for making a change in her life, and I have to credit her for inspiring and supporting me in my own journey down the same path of weight loss! Healthy eating is so D@2010.