Posts tagged cigarettes

Say It Ain’t So Gary!

Um.. When did you take up smoking bitch?  Hell No!  Clever place to stash your smokes though.

The Broke & Homeless

Earlier this week I traveled down to Southern California to see some family.  I wouldn’t call it a good trip, but whatever… I got off work for most of the week, so that was good.   On my way home I stopped in Salinas for gas… This is something I would not advise anyone to do in the future.

Let’s see… It was shortly after midnight when I pulled into the Arco station.  I needed gas, and I had to pee badly.   Before I could even start pumping gas this Mexican guy comes up to me:

  • Mexican: hey man.. can you spare some change?
  • Me: Sorry… I don’t have any.

He walked off toward the street and started examining the flower beds… At this point I am assuming he is looking for cigarettes.   Not more than 30 seconds later a white guy comes out of nowhere and says:

  • Whitey: I’ve been trying to get something to eat all night… can you spare some change?
  • Me: Sorry… I don’t have any.
  • Whitey: Can i check your car seats for change?
  • Me: Um no… there is none… sorry.

He starts looking thru the windows of my car, and then finally walks off toward the hotel next door.   At this point I am totally creeped out, and the Mexican guy is still lingering around near me acting like he is still searching for cigarettes.  Then… swear to god…. like 15 seconds later a black guy walks up to me… who knows where that fool came from… and says:

  • Blacky: You got any change?
  • Me: Sorry… I don’t have any.
  • Blacky: You got an ATM card?
  • Me: I don’t have anything.
  • Blacky: Fuck you!

He walks over to the next gas pump and sits down.  Ok… I don’t care if the car is not full… I stop the pump, and start putting the gas cap back on.  The Mexican guy comes back over:

  • Mexican: hey man… you smoke?
  • Me: Nope. Sorry.

I get back in my car… lock the doors… and head back to the freeway.   I realize that I need to pee still, so I go a little deeper into Salinas, and again… head to a gas station.   As I pull in I don’t see any crazy homeless anywhere, so I run in and pee.  When I come out of the bathroom some woman is standing near my car.   I walk quietly and quickly to my car.

  • Lady: Excuse me… Do you…
  • Me: Nope.. I don’t have anything!

I jumped in the car and took off.   What the fucking hell??  Talk about depression n shit. Never again will I stop in Salinas for anything especially after midnight!!!  Well unless it’s In & Out… OK!

You Know What I Hate?

I hate people who smell like wet cigarettes.  So fucking disgusting.  That’s right… I said it.