Oh my god. Remember that bitch I work with. You know, the one who demands that everyone shut the fuck up?

I’ve always suspected that she secretly complained to our temp agency about eating lunch in the office. Because someone brought a lunch into the office the other day, she totally looked frazzled about it and she got up and returned 10 minutes later. Within about 20 minutes of her coming back, we get an all-hands email about not eating at our desks because of the smell. Well, I never knew if it was this bitch or not. When we moved into a smaller office because my group downsized to 4 temps (but which still happened to include her because I was evil in another life and karma is teaching me a lesson) I told the smaller team that it was totally okay with me if people wanted to eat at their desks because sometimes we want to leave work early. Everyone else was fine with it too, except this bitch I work with. She basically says, “Umm, I think that policy is in place because the temp agency wants to make sure that we are working a concentrated full 8 hours of work and not just 7 and half hours of concentrated work and a half hour of sorta concentration with our minds thinking about food and not focusing on the tasks at hand.”  I’m like who the hell put this bitch in charge of everyone. God she’s awful. Anyway, now I’m pretty sure she is the culprit for the lunch policy…after this story:

Well…this guy next to me brought his lunch with him today and he is totally eating it at his desk right next to the bitch. She literally just told this guy that she doesn’t like him eating in the office because she has a strong nose and it’s making her hungry. And since she’s not eating til 1, having to smell his food is making her hungry.  However, she understands that he needs to leave early today and therefore she will excuse his eating “this one time” but try not to let it happen again. She then tells us five stories about how she has such an amazing sense of smell. No joke. She’s hideous.

THEN the guy starts munching away loudly. Like insanely loud. With his mouth wide open. It was disgusting. I’ve noticed this about him before with gum. Then, I hear her lean over to him and say, “I don’t mind the eating but I do have one request. I mind you eating with your mouth open.” He was so embarassed, he got up and finished his meal in the common area with the sinks and the soda machine. She’s evil.