Next stop… Whores!
Posts tagged Bubbles Devere
Gary Jr. Really Pisses Me Off (She’s So Stupid)
Jun 4th
[email thread Thursday morning re: lunch date on Wednesday]
Benutty: I really enjoyed our lunch together yesterday. I think we made a breakthrough in our friendship. Love, Benutty
Gary Jr.: Stop flirting. I’m not putting out. xoxo
Benutty: The breakthrough was that I realized I’m no longer in love with you.
Gary Jr.: I’m about to breakthrough your face
[email thread Friday morning]
Gary Jr.: ready for another breakthrough? oh snap.
Benutty: naturally
[text thread beginning 12:33 pm Friday afternoon]
Benutty: Are we doing lunch?
Gary Jr.: Niet. I don’t think I have time. Are you going with Nick?
Benutty: No he stayed home sick. He and I got wasted last night on manroulette
Gary Jr.: Hahahaha. You whores.
Benutty: I have pictures of his dick. We talked to these fags from Michigan for SO long.
Gary Jr.: I might leave early. When would you want lunch?
Benutty: I thought you just said you can’t have lunch. I’m not even hungry I had a bagel.
Gary Jr.: If I leave early, I will. Haha.
Benutty: You’re stupid.
Gary Jr.: Fatty.
Benutty: No one has any clue what you’re even talking about.
Gary Jr.: No one.
[text thread beginning 1:17 pm Friday afternoon]
Gary Jr.: Ready for lunch?
Benutty: No fool I just took a 15 and got soup!!!
Gary Jr.: Dag
I think he meant “Breakfast Dagwood Sandwich” from Denny’s, but I don’t eat those anymore ever since I went on a diet with Nick this Spring. Also: I’m not sure at what point in the conversation Gary Jr. wasn’t clear on the fact that we weren’t getting lunch together for numerous reasons. Such a DeVere.
also: fart war second battle just took place
World Premiere Video of Sweetums
Apr 8th
Hey folks and troll babies–
I’m so sorry that I’ve been silent for so long. You see, I went to the Russian River Valley for a weeklong spa vacay with Misha. It was so much fun. We drank too much wine and made way too many babies. Anyhoo, after that we headed right into the studio. I guess I forgot to tell you all that back in October Kylie’s people (Steve Anderson, thanks Stevie) caught wind of my Sweetums series. They were in Oakland for her first concert in the States and checking out the local talent. A boa and a Divine tribute later, Kylie was eating out of my well-manicured hand. Or…I was eating out of hers. She loved Sweetums and immediately offered me a recording contract on the Bubbles Devere label. Yyyyes. Hunnies is now famous.
The world premiere of my music video was awesome. Kylie showed up. Gaga was there. Oprah introduced me to my adoring fans. I wasn’t given enough tickets to invite the hunnies. Oopsies. So I sent my film crew to the Haus of Hunnies to record them on premiere night. Enjoy!