Posts tagged brooch

From My Mom To You

Hey Benutty… My mom has the perfect item for you.  Let me know if you want it, and I’ll try to pry it from her hands.

It’s a doll head brooch!  So Cuties!

Style2010: Everyone Wants a Brooch!

Girls! Everyone is wearing brooches now. I’m so ahead of the times and I swear everyone is copying my mami-style. Those assholes on American Idol are pinning ‘em to their cardigans & blazers and now, thanks to 3rin, I find out that sketch comics are spoofing the fad! Check it out:

Troll Dance

I may have gotten down on my hands and knees to do an interpretive dance for the word “sex” (which was amazing by the way), but this is Benutty’s interpretive dance to the word “handsome”.    Sorry girl… It’s not the brooches and glitter after all.

Old Gays is Hating the Brooches, Huuhhhnns

While BK and I were at Blackbird last night I was wearing a super cuties yes new brooch! While I was waiting in line to order a drink an older gay in a three-piece suit engaged in the following short-lived conversation with me:

Old Gay: (pointing to my brooch) What is this all about?
Me: Its a brooch! You know, to jazz up the look a little!
Old Gay: So you woke up this morning wanting to be Madeline Albright?
Me: hahaha um (pointing to his lapel) Your outfit could have used one right here.
Old Gay: (sarcastically) Yeah when I looked in the mirror this morning I saw that exact spot and really thought it was missing something.

Oops. Ugh.

A Piece of Golden Girls History

Shawnito sent me this amazing picture.

Looks like our little troll Benutty has a piece of Golden Girls history in his possession. I’m totally jealous… you dirty troll bitch.

Notice Blanche's man-gettin' brooch…

Notice the same brooch on Sling-Blade Benutty…

The Cast

Our cast of characters here at D@2:

Yes. Nick and Jay are an item.

Nick without his stage makeup

Gary Jr. and his famous tongue

Alfie with his girlfriend

Misha on vacation

Shawnito the Barn Animals' Pet

Our Benutty Troll with brooch

Cartier and America: Troll is Loves the Sparkly Huhhhhnnnn

I had the great pleasure of going to see the Cartier and America exhibit at the Legion of Honor today. Last week I heard about the show from a coworker and have barely been able to keep from peeing my pants since. When you’re in San Francisco and you’re on your, what, eleventh straight day of rain, a museum is the perfect place to spend a couple hours of your Sunday. My coworker had mentioned that there were some great brooches at the exhibit, but holy shit I had no idea that, a) there were going to be so many and, b) they were going to be so fantastic!

Unfortunately I wasn’t ballsy enough to take photos in the show (partly because I’m still embarrassed to be pulling out a jacked-up iPhone), but, lucky for you, because I couldn’t pass up the exhibit coffee table book I am able to show you a few of the pieces that I found most extraordinary/want in my personal collection.

Rose-and-lily corsage ornament, 1906. This one is the size of a necklace, but no joke is made to be worn as a chest ornament/hella tight brooch

Star of South Africa brooch, 1917. This one wasn't at the exhibit, but makes my balls sweat.

Lace jabot brooch, 1906. This would look so good with my navy blue polo. Yes. I'd wear it to a farm wedding.

Pendant brooch, 1923. So this bitch Marjorie Merriweather Post owned this and bought so much Cartier. She's lucky she didn't know me and my thieving claws.

Tiger clip brooch, 1957. Yum. I wasn't into the matching earrings, but mamiauntiehonies give me this please. Yes. Thank you. Loves. Grr.

Flamingo clip brooch, 1940. Quite clearly a masterpiece, this was on exhibit for the first time ever. The show even had a remake of it on display! Oops, and I may have gone back through the exhibit just to see this one again. Hands down my favorite.

One day we will gets the Precious,

Benutty

P.S.

Pig figurine, 1905. Yes. Cartier, too, had a taste for Nicks.

Recipe for Class, or Benutty’s Plan to Get a Man in 2010

Ladies, and now a little lesson in class.

In order to remain a woman in good standing within your community you must keep the following three items in your possession for use when the time is right.

Shawl-wrap to keep you warm when away from the hearth

A little liquid courage — Barefoot's White Zin is the ideal choice

Vintage Chanel brooch (any knock-off will also do) to match the natural sparkle in your eye

Appropriate moments for use of these items:
1. While reading a novel by candlelight
2. Mid-week in the third week since you fell into depression
3. Any age after 42
4. Newly single and looking for a 30-something rich, gay husband

Believe it,

Benutty