Don’t you hate when you poop and it comes out all messy then it takes like half of a roll of toiler paper to clean all that shit off? OMG so annoying right! Well when I was like 5 or 6 this happened to me, and at the time I didn’t realize that toilets can only handle so much toilet paper. Yup, the toilet overflowed all over the bathroom. My mom was pretty pissed off, and my brother teased me for a long time about this.

Well I was not about to let that happen again, so I started flushing multiple times to make sure everything could go down easy. Unfortunately one day my brother over heard me flush a couple times, and then continue to tease me for taking big dumps. How nice of him.

So now I am not only freaked out about the toilet over flowing from gross poops, but also about flushing multiple times. I hated being teased when I was younger so I had to make sure not to do anything that would bring attention.

Finally I came up with an idea. I would wipe like I always do, but if I felt like I was using too much toilet paper I would simply just throw the toilet paper in the trash rather than flushing it. I thought I was so smarties. Sadly what I didn’t realize was how awful poop smells, and suddenly everyone in my family was like… “Why does the bathroom always smell like shit?” I went along with it, and blamed my sister’s friends because I really didn’t like them anyways.

Apparently my mom was one sneaky lady, and some how figured out I was the one throwing poopy toilet paper in the trash rather then the toilet. I told her why, and she promised not to tell anyone else that it was me as long as I stopped doing it. So that is when I learned to use as little toilet paper as possible when wiping my ass. Ugh… embarrassing!

And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.