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Posts tagged blokus
Not-So-Deep ‘You Know What I Hate?’
May 26th
I hate losing games. This is why I created a system in which I always win. For example…
If i’m playing Blokus with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Benutty beats me… I win. How is that possible you ask? Well let’s put it this way. If Benutty won then he either cheated or got lucky… so therefore… I win.
Another example…
If I’m playing the Settlers of Catan with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Gary Jr. beats me… I win. How? Well obviously Benutty either cheated or helped Gary Jr. win, or Gary Jr. got lucky… so therefore… I win.
See how simple this is.
Month in Media: April
Apr 30th
Let’s take a look at the things in entertainment that the D@2 bloggers loved most in the month of April!
Gary Jr.
YouTube — Jesse Tyler Ferguson Does Gaga
First, you know I love Modern Family and the gay couple. Well, what could be better than 1/2 of that gay couple singing a lounge version of Alejandro. Plus, you know how much I love loungey cocktail music. Damn. I want JTF’s babies…especially because he is gay in real life and I must therefore believe that he is also a chubby chaser (since everything on TV is true).
iPhone App — LoseIt
Yes, I jumped on the bandwagon this month thanks to Heifer 1 and Heifer 2. I’ve been dieting since April 1. I had a little set back this week only losing .5 pounds but since April 1, I have lost 8.5 pounds and 10.5 from my heaviest (which was mid-March).
Movie ReRun – Shaun of the Dead
It’s just so funny. It’s been on Comedy Central this month. I love that for the whole morning commute during the opening scenes everyone is dead tired and zombie-like and then 20 minutes those same scenes happen again except everyone around him is a zombie. I love zombie movies like nobody’s business. I even have zombie exit strategies. I think about this shit while I’m playing Catan in the restroom.
Music– Shampain by Martina and the Diamonds
So I’ve been riding my exercise bike a lot. And I’ve been grooving out to my jams. But let me tell you that I pump a lot faster when this Martina and the Diamonds diddy comes on the shuffle. The clip calls it Shampain Sleeper but it’s just Shampain. Also about 2 weeks ago, I tweeted some lyrics from this song and Nick got mad at me for drinking champagne when I should be dieting. Bitch, I was singing and not cheating. I feel celestial! Yyyes.
Benutty
Music – Mary J. Blige’s “Stairway to Heaven“
This shit is amazing. I wasn’t too big of a fan of it when it first came out, but after seeing her perform it on American Idol I jumped on board. Compared to all the other idiots who performed awful renditions of otherwise good songs (see: Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Ke$ha, Adam Lambert) on the show, MJB proved that she’s still in the business for a reason! — she knows how to sing and how to put on a good show. And, seriously, who else could pull off a LZ song like that?
Glee Quote – Santana in “The Power of Madonna”
“It’ll be great for my image, and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It’s win-win.” This bitch is so classic. Love her to death. Nick told me there’s a rumor the Cheerios might get their own spin-off, and if Santana and Brittany are a part of it then it’ll surely be gaymazing.
iPhone App – We Rule
Hello! It’s Farmville meets Sim City and it is wondrous. I got everyone hooked on it and I can’t freaking wait until I grow enough broccoli to purchase my Magic Emporium and a second Watch Tower! Ooh girl, gotta go collect taxes from my cottages. Huhhnns. I kind of want an iPad just so I can play this on a bigger screen.
D@2 Post – Guest Blog by FrankieRose
I was proud of lil sis for coming up with such a great D@2-inspired post. Before she submitted this for the Guest Blogger contest she sent me the picture via text and I almost died. This killed me. Love that Gary Jr. is a secret real estate agent in Sacramento. I bet he can spread his legs for the Real Estate King like A. Bening does in A. Beauty.
Nick
Music – Ultrasound
So I found this shizzz on iTunes a couple weeks, and it’s totally gay and I love it!! Check it out and dance.
iPhone App – Blokus
Yes Hunnnsss. Blokus has an iPhone app and it’s so goodies you’lll gag with orgasms. It’s 4.99 right now but I am sure the price will lower soon.
YouTube Clip – Bathtub Fun
It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in this video… the guy in it is fucking hot. So turn it on and take your dicks out.
D@2 Post: Sweetums Premiere
Um Gary Jr. is a damn mess and this is the proof. Love it like a cold sore.
Games & Booze
Jan 11th
If you know any of us (besides Jay) you know that we love to play board games, and drink. Nothing can go better together like games and booze because they both promote socializing. A game isn’t just something you play to win; it is something you play while spending quality time with the people you love to hate.
I thought I’d give you a countdown of the top 5 games we love the most, and how superior I am at them. (That’s right… I said it).
#5 – Blokus
We are fairly new to Blokus, but I think we are already obsessed. Unlike some of the games we play (i.e. Settlers of Catan), Blokus is a very quick game. With my keen eye for geometry, and strategy I am almost unstoppable when playing this game.
#4 – Catch Phrase
No drunken evening is complete without stressing Gary Jr. out with a game of Catch Phrase. Although we worry about the health of Gary Jr.’s heart while playing this game… his squeals of stress, which make his tongue stick out as if it is reaching for something, makes all of us laugh. This makes the game so much more enjoyable. My quick thinking, and perfect clues make me the best person to have on your team.
#3 – King’s Cup
Ok..Ok.. I know it’s not technically a board game, but it is quite possibly the best drinking game ever!!! King’s Cup is the perfect way to start out the night.
Me: I just drew a Jack (Categories)… I’ll say.. types of Cookies… Sugar Cookies
Benutty: Chocolate Chip
Gary Jr.: Snickerdoodle
Alfie: Oatmeal
Jay: Mint Milano
Me: Peanut Butter
Benutty: umm umm Oatmeal
Aww.. sorry Benutty you can’t say a word twice. I win again!
#2 – Settlers of Catan
Although many would think this would be my all-time favorite game, it is not in fact the best game to play while drinking. It is though the best strategy game of all time. Catan is like a way of life. Among my friends I am know as the Lord of Catan… the greatest player in the city. Thou shall bow down to me and worship.
#1 – Game of Things
This is by far one of the most ridiculous, funny games ever invented. I don’t need to say much about this because I think it will speak for itself. I want everyone to play along now. Post as a comment your answer to: “Things that make your eyes hurt?”, and you’ll see why this game is amazing.