We don’t let the monkey outta his cage often because when we do he always manages to hurt himself and our reputation. Take for example the time we brought him along camping — our resident chimp had 8 drinks too many and was photographed by the paparazzi falling backwards off the log by the campfire!

Now, no one at D@2 claims to be sober once the sun goes down, but we can’t be portrayed as sloppy drunk messes. Come on now Jay, pull yourself together and get some help before we call A&E to book your appearance on Intervention!!