Posts tagged Aunt Frawn

Is Aunt Frawn a Vamp?

Jul 9th

Posted by Gary Jr. in Posts by Gary Jr.

5 comments

Seriously, what’s up with Aunt Frawn and her iPhone game playing habit? I wake up between 6:30 and 7 while Michael gets ready in the morning and no sooner do my eyes open then Aunt Frawn buzzes me because she just played QAT or JUS in Scrabble. And then as I’m drifting off to sleep watching Chelsea Lately, Frawnster buzzes me again. Does Aunt Frawn sleep? Or is she a vamp? When does she have time to maintain a lovely household, a lovely husband, two lovely children and yet manage to find time to lose to me at Scrabble? We are going to have to ask her to pronounce “Sookie” before we can make any determinations regarding her undead status.

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The Benutty Family Volvo

Apr 14th

Posted by Gary Jr. in Posts by Gary Jr.

6 comments

Whilst driving through Berkeley yesterday on my way to Berkeley Bowl to buy some veggies for this damned diet, I stopped behind a Volvo. I knew instantly it was the Benutty Family Volvo.

I tried to get Aunt Frawn’s attention but she was too busy paying attention to the road like a good driver and honestly FrankieRose’s chest hair blocked my view. Chongo was in the back seat making obscene gestures.

Apparently, they were going to pick Benutty up from his Literature and Electrolysis seminar that he teaches at the local community college.

Anyhoo, luckily I was able to snap a picture.

Look Carefully at the License Plate

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Sweetums Series #831711774

Apr 1st

Posted by Gary Jr. in Sweetums Series

5 comments

For the love of GaGa, never send Gary Jr. back into the Interior Illusions Lounge on an empty stomach coz she’ll steal your Absolut cocktails, down ‘em and then grab the mic outta your hand.

Then all hell breaks loose on Pride Rock.

Lady Sings in Circles

Toodles,
Gary Jr.

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Question of the Week 03/27 – 04/02

Mar 30th

Posted by Gary Jr. in Question of the Week

3 comments

This week’s question was asked by AuntF of Benicia, CA:

Ok, so tell me, how does a middle-aged (yet, somewhat cool) straight couple attend a Lady GaGa concert and fit in? I don’t think we are part of her “Little Monsters”, but we do love her! We really want to go, but don’t want to feel old and ordinary.

No…let me break it down:

  1. 1.    Buy matching creme nighties from Ross: Dress for Less. Don’t settle for a cheap white slip. Get the one with lace and rhinestones.
  2. 2.    Buy a white feather boa from the Halloween Store.
  3. 3.    Buy a wig and pink hair spray from the Wig Shop on Mission.
  4. 4.    Go over to Nick’s house. Take over Jay’s bedroom mirror. Apply copious amounts of black eyeliner, black eyeshadow and ruby red lipstick. Foundation that shit like there’s no tomorrow to hide the stubble.
  5. 5.    Apply your pig snout that Benutty got you.
  6. 6.    Make a sign that says “I’m bluffin with my muffin.”
  7. 7.    And drink like a fish. Tip well. Drink more. And evenutally the waitress will comp your drinks because you’ve given her like $50 in tips.

Double numbering is so 2010. WHHHHHHHHHHAT. GIRL. WHHHHHAT.
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.

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