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Posts tagged apples
Shouldn’t Have Told Me What to Say Then
May 6th
You see, the thing about being a field reporter is that, yeah, you can provide the editors with as many papa-papa-razzi photos as you want and tell us what to use ‘em for n shit, but we don’t really have to listen to you. We can change & embellish your stories as quickly as Nick eats apples, huhhhns. And don’t think we won’t outwit, outplay, and outlast you with our charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. Because we will.
Like when Field Reporter Shawnito texted me the other day…
May 3, 2010 8:55 PM
Shawnito
[picture text]
I found Gary Jr.’s long lost panties in the CastroBenutty
Hahahahahahahahahahahah ewShawnito
I know girl nasty bitch rightBenutty
Thanks girl I’ll blog itShawnito
Lol love it. I love being a field reporter for d@2am lolBenutty
I love it too lol
Bitch, those are YOUR panties!
Shouldn’t Have Said It Then
Mar 5th
Email thread between Gary Jr. & Benutty, 5:30pm
Gary: I’m hungry
Benutty: I knew you’d want Second Lunch. Cometh to Nickory’s tonight. She’ll have apples to eat.
Gary: Only piggies stuff their mouths with apples.
Benutty: hahaha I hate that she wouldn’t let us take a portrait of her like that. Maybe when she gets skinny (by the end of April, per Lose It!) she’ll let us.
Gary: I will die.
Benutty: So will she. When we tell her it’s a portrait but really it’s a D@2 video of her death at 2am. The Cow-Breather runs up and shoves the apple down Pig’s throat while Troll fakes taking her picture.
Text from Gary to Nick, 8:45pm
Gary: I’ll give you an apple for your pig face
Nick to Benutty at Safeway, 11:55pm
Nick: I’m gonna eat hella apples when I get home
Text from Benutty to Gary, 11:56pm
Benutty: at Safeway with Nick. He says “I’m gonna eat hella apples when I get home”
Gary: hehe. Like a good little piggy.
Busted!
Feb 4th
Dirty Llama caught taking apples out of the trash can. Really… if you need me to buy you lunch just ask fool.
