Lets think back to September 22nd 2010 when it was announced that Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, and Jennifer Lopez were the new American Idol judges. I was horrified!

I had thought to myself that Steven Tyler had seen too much in his life to ever take American Idol seriously, and that Jennifer Lopez seemed like the type of person who would only ever have anything nice to say and end up being totally boring. Who was going to tell it like it is as Simon Cowell had done for years? Who was going to be so drugged up they never made sense like Paula? Who was going to wear Kara’s ugly wardrobe and god awful necklaces? And why is the “dog” still there?

Well fuck what I thought because they all totally surprised me. Both of them are taking each audition seriously, and seem to be really enjoying themselves. As a matter of fact the only person on the panel who openly laughs at bad contestants is Randy Jackson. Steven Tyler especially is way more awesome than I had ever thought he would be. He has these weird sayings he throws out, he cusses a lot, hits on young girls, but he is also really kind to people and gives them pretty good advice. Oh and I also loved how Danny Gokey was on last night, and that happened to be the day that Steven Tyler showed us all how you really hit that note in Dream On. Thank you!

Now as far as J-Lo goes… the bitch has pumped out some bad albums lately but damn she is so pretty! I mean… I’m gay, but holy shit she looks good. Why did people ever think she was a bitch… to me she seems so genuine and nice. In last nights episode I also liked how she was really concerned about that one 15 year old girl because she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle American Idol at her age. Yea no joke! There is no way that girl is making it to the top 12.

Anyways, seeing the new judges really opened my eyes to how checked out Simon Cowell was the last couple years. They have an enthusiasm we have not seen in a long time. American Idol is not dead after all, and I think this is going to be a really good season. Oh and Aerosmith and J-Lo better perform during the finale!

Waiting for tonight! Oh oh! When you would be here in my arms!

LOVE IT!

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Benutty

Music Album – Janelle Monae’s The ArchAndroid (Suites II & III)
There’s no way a better album is going to come out this year. Janelle has taken music to a level it hasn’t been in a long time, creating a concept album and weaving within it a cohesive message of liberation, adventure, and love. The music finds inspiration in R&B funk like Outkast’s The Love Below with a good mix of upbeat, catchy songs and tender ballads. So good, I really can’t stop listening to it.

TV Season Finale – Brothers & Sisters
Ever the tearjerker, B&S brought the action this season with their finale. A lot of great new storylines were introduced right at the end while at the same time ending the boring ones they’ve been playing around with for a while. I don’t understand how everyone doesn’t watch this show because it is seriously one of the best out there! Hello it has everyone — the wife from Mrs. Doubtfire, Brenda from Six Feet Under, and Ally McBeal! And THREE gay characters!! Loves. Balthazar Getty is hot.

Music Video – Kylie Minogue’s All the Lovers
Um. So this officially came out on the last day of May, but huhhnns it’s so good. Considering her lackluster album art, Kylie needed a good video. And during a time in music when everyone is stressing out over who is copying who, she brings something fresh to her own style — an extravagantly gay style that has worked well for her for the past two decades. Anthill human orgy anyone? Can’t wait for the album.

D@2 Post – Lost and Found
I have to admit I really enjoyed setting up Shawnito on this one! It was definitely the funnest post for me to write. He sent me this picture and tried to tell me it was of Gary’s panties, but little did he know I would turn it back around on him! Fool/loves.

Nick

TV Character  – Brittany on Glee
Seriously though… she could be one of the greatest characters on TV ever.  I’m so glad that she is going to be a regular next season because we need to see more!  I’m also curious to see what sort of songs she is going to sing.

TV Finale – Lost
I know a lot of people were unhappy with the way Lost ended but I thought it was an amazing ending.  Sure a lot of questions were unanswered, but I think as we all re-watch the series there will be plenty of clues that can lead us to answer those questions ourselves.   The hyperlink above is a link to an article about what Lost is about… well it’s one persons view of it, but I like it… so yea.

iPhone App – Knocking Video
Easily the D@2 Crew’s favorite app of the month.   Benutty especially loved this app while he was visiting New York City.  Just look at this screen shot I took on my iPhone during one of his disgusting knocking sessions.

D@2 Post – Oh Boy!
Classic Gary Jr.  Gary Jr. and Benutty are obsessed with pooping in public, and this makes for a lot of good stories.

Gary Jr.

Commercial – Weber’s BBQ Dance Off
When this stupid commercial comes on, I totally groove out. I can’t help it. Weber made a summer classic. I want to BBQ!

Music – Persephone’s Bees – Paper Plane
Not my favorite band ever but for some reason I like this video and to me, music this month was lacking. I basically stuck to my old standards. This was the only new thing to add to it. Oh and a little Jóhann Jóhannsson too. His music is very quiet, 10 minute long diddies that fill up space and take you on journeys almost like Sigur Ros and the like. Love it. Oh cuz he’s Icelandic! Iceland makes the craziest musicians. Sorry Bjork.

TV – American Idol Finale
It was an awful finale and Lee was awful but so was Crystal. I only loved it because I won the Benutty Family Pool and took a cool $110 from them when they weren’t looking. Thanks for the victory! xoxo

D@2 Post - Dead Giveaway Outtakes
Died.

Mostly for looking tranny-gorgeous with that haircut and in that dress, but also for making your goddamn comeback!

Coz huhhhnnns that perfomance on American Idol last night was so “hey girl what’s up I’m bout to start making hella good music again right quick coz I’ve sucked ever since I married Jermaine Dupri” fierce. Loved it.

Dancin it out,
Benutty

This pissed me off because I don’t think this has anything to do with race (how else would Lil Rounds make it so far last year…. hello!)   In my personal opinion the reason Big Mike was voted out last night was because he is awful.  He is not original at all… there are hundreds of artists who sound just like him already… Plus he is so incredibly cheesy it makes it want to vomit all over myself.   Finally… he is ugly.  I’m sorry but it doesn’t matter if you are white, black, brown or red… if you are an ugly mother fucker you are not going to win American Idol.  Fact!  So don’t go calling out the race card on this bullshit.

Lee: I didn’t enjoy the song but I’d enjoy going down

Paige: pitchy much. Never sing low again. Tell Lee I’d go down. Worst performance since Anthony Federov. Or whatever.

Tim: nice try but I can see under that bowl of hair and I know you over performed to make up for your shady vocals. Get me Lee.

Aaron: just not enough energy for me. The song is too big like Lee. That’s right… I said it.

Crystal: you are such a mess. Love it like a hot shot in the butt from Lee.

Gokey: ugh I hate you so much. Die and join your wife. Oh. What? Oops I mean Mike. p.s. Lee’s packing more than you fatty.

Andrew: I understand your tattoo now. Boring people always try to make themselves more interesting. I’ve seen Lee’s great vine. Get it?

Katie: when it was slow it was good. When it was fast it was bad. Kind of like Lee and I in bed last night. Hunnnss.

Casey: you don’t know the power of love like Lee does and let me tell you girl… motha fucka knows how to love!! p.s. cut your hair

Didi: love that you sang a song about Katie and Anthony Federov. Lee is no good for my butthole. ouch.

Siobhan: So cuties! Love it like Lee’s pee hole… only good things cum from both of you. Eoh.

Benutty

Music Video – “On to the Next One” by Jay-Z with Swizz Beatz
This shit is soooo effing tight. I sweat for the girls drop-dancing and the druggie in the hoodie. Mami wants.

YouTube Clip – Jiz and the Mammograms
“This is the motherfucking dress I’m going to get motherfucking gangbanged in tonight.” On daily repeat. Don’t think I won’t make a ringtone of it.

Sports – Arizona vs. Green Bay
I literally like seriously almost wet myself over the missed field goal at the end and the completely random turnover to finish the game in overtime. I was banking on an AZ win for a pool I was in so I was really excited — too bad those queens went and ruined it the following week. Oh well. Go Colts!

TV Show – The Jersey Shore
I mean, seriously? This show killed me every feeeeeucking week. Snooki was goddamn hilarious. Who ever knew there were so many fantastic words for DBs? Grenade. Grenade Launcher. Hippo. Creature.

Album – Stronger with Each Tear by Mary J. Blige
I really played this album out this month. It’s very typ of MJB lately — and, let’s face it, the self-empowerment-I-can-do-anything-because-I-overcame-so-much-adversity thing is getting old — but you can’t deny that the bitch has an amazing voice. And her songs are so sweet most of the time! Aww.

D@2 Post – Dead at 2am: Part 2
This killed me. It made me want to die at 2 again! “Champaaaaaaaagne.” D@2 Blogger? ME! Feeeeeucking Safeway aisle 8 spill janitor.

Gary Jr.

Music Video – “Fixin’ to Thrill” by Dragonette
God, I do love my Dragonette. When I spotted this music video which I had never seen before, poop may have come out. …………………..Of my mouth.

Movie – A Single Man
Isherwood is a weirdo but I loved this movie. Colin Firth can be my silver daddy any day.

YouTube Clip – Cadbury Eyebrows
First, I love chocolate. Second, I love this song. Third, I love overly mobile eyebrows.

TV Show – Modern Family
This show is soo awesome. I am Cameron. That’s all I have to say. Go watch the episode called The Incident. Shelley Long plays the crazy mom. It’s so awesome. It’s worth it.

Sports – Nadal/Murray match at the Australian Open
Okay. If I’m going to post a sports highlight, it will likely only be tennis or figure skating. Anyway, Nadal is hot and the Australian Open is kick ass. The build up for this showdown was awesome. Too bad Hottie Nadal bowed out. Puss. Yeah! Not so gay now, am I sluts! L’Angie that post was for you.

D@2 Post – Nick’s Answer to a Question of the Week
Anytime you can get Nick to write an awesome post about you kicking him in his balls, you know that’s a media highlight.

Nick

Current TV: American Idol
Every January I go into American Idol mode. Sadly it is one of my favorite TV shows. I’m not so sure about Ellen yet, so we’ll see how she does during Hollywood week.

Classic TV: Roseanne
You really can’t go wrong with white trash. No matter how many times I see these episodes they are always funny.

Music: Ke$ha
This bitch is off it. Listen to this album will make you want to dance on stripper poles for money. Loves it.

TV Network: The Food Network
Hello!… Chopped, The Worst Cooks in Amercia and the ever enjoyable Unwrapped. It’s like seriously the best network ever.

Favorite YouTube Channel, and Video: Peach Diaries
Seriously.. Peach Diaries is the best channel ever! Princess Peach has never been more entertaining.

D@2 Post: Benutty v. Gary Jr.
This truly is the essence of who we are. It doesn’t get any better than this.

Bitches that pray together, stay together.

Nick, checking to see if that shirt-dress really fits. Gary Jr., crying.

Gary Jr., helping Nick stay upright. Nick, crying.

Stop dancing. Forever. Both of you. Omg Gary Jr. you look amazing!

I can't believe you got to meet Ryan Seacrest. Jellz.

Good luck in Hollywood,

Benutty

P.S. Love the eyeshadow, ladies.

American Idol
Idol was back last year with the phenom that is Adam Lambert. Kris and Allison tore it up, too, and we all loved making fun of Blindy, Wannabe Rounds, and Daughtry2. Hopefully this year can match up, and to add fuel to the fire, it may be Simon’s last year! Can’t miss that! Aaaah. Spare me Ellen — she’ll be worthless… and sober. Hopefully Kara gets naked again.
(FOX – Tuesday, 1/12 @ 8 pm)

Ugly Betty
Stop hating, start watching again. Betty is still one of the most well-written shows out there for anyone with an ear for gay sarcasm. This show has one of the best casts and pulls out the stereotypes to a tee. The latino-flare taken straight out of the best telenovelas keeps the show spicy, dramatic, and escapist. I always look forward to this one, and as long as the hot Jewish, rich boyfriend sticks around, I will, too.
(ABC – Wednesdays @ 10 pm)

The Deep End
This is a new lawyer show that everyone is saying is the new Grey’s and all that. Listen, all I care about is Mehcad Brooks (True Blood & Desperate Housewives) and BILLY ZANE! Are you kidding me?! Billy Zane? He like invented guyliner! Naturally! Looks interesting, has hot guys. Why wouldn’t you watch it?
(ABC – Thursday, 1/21 @ 8 pm)

Spartacus: Blood and Sand
If you haven’t seen the trailers for the new cable-television sex & violence show then check it out. Hot, sweaty Romans mixed with blood and cum, and some decent stylized cinematography reminiscent of 300, sounds like a recipe for a perfect DVR date for all the single gays — and you know what kinda ring Spartacus is gonna be puttin on it. And the network has already contracted the show for a second season so you know they have faith in it!
(Starz – Friday, 1/22 @ 10 pm)

Lost
I don’t really need to explain this one. Final season of one of the most immaculate shows of our generation. ‘nough said. Let the pee dribble.
(ABC – Tuesday, 2/2 @ 8 pm)

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains
I am a huge fan of this show! I like sweat this shit. For the 20th season they’re bringing back the nicest and the naughtiest of previous seasons for the 3rd all-stars run of this true pioneer of reality-competition TV. You can’t deny that the more-or-less unchanged format of outwit, outplay, outlast is still intriguing and still magic on the small screen. And Russell, the nastiest dirtiest wettest pig of ‘em all, is back to play these whores for dumb again! Gotta love it.
(CBS – Thursday, 2/11 @ 8 pm)

Parenthood
I don’t know much about this one, but that it is a remake of something that was probably stupid before and won’t be now. I mean — Peter Krause and Craig T. Nelson are tried-and-true, and perhaps this one will strengthen the family drama/sitcom party recently perfected by Brothers & Sisters and Modern Family. I’ll give it a shot.
(NBC – 3/1)

And farther into the future, but still darkening the crotch on my pants:

Mad Men – Season 4
Last season started off a bit slow, but finished with some great episodes! Although the show is presumably about the “Men,” it really is all about the women and the actresses who portray them never disappoint. The best part about this show is its focus on character development moreso than plot. This one can’t come back soon enough.

Glee – Season 1, Part 2
Um. Is it April yet? A full episode of just Madonna songs?! Nick just pissed herself. Jealous.

True Blood – Season 3
Loosely based on the third Sookie Stackhouse novel, Club Dead, in this new season we will see the emergence of the werewolf and maybe a good love triangle or something. And for those of us who have read the books, there is always the excitement of not knowing what will go down for all of the characters the show brings in that are sorely underdeveloped in the novels.

So those are the ten shows I’m most looking forward in the new season. But I can’t mention television without pointing out two other very exciting events:

• Brothers & Sisters. Too good to be in a list among other shows. This one will always stand on its own. And I cry every time. Fuck you, Sally Field, for wetting my cheeks.
• TYRA AND OPRAH ARE ENDING! Fuck the pee, I just jizzed all over my thighs! I’ve never heard more exciting news in my life.

Need a towel,

Benutty