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Question of the Week
Question of the Week (07/20 – 07/26)
Jul 22nd
Question of the Week (07/20 – 07/26)
Jul 20th
This week’s question was asked by Calipeach of Palmdale, CA:
I’d like each of you to give three guesses as to what Gary Jr. might find hiding in his belly flap. Of course if three guesses is not enough, by all means give as many as needed?
Thanks for the question Calipeach… You know this question is asked a lot by those who know Gary Jr. The deep crevices of his belly flap can hold a whole assortment of things at any time. For a long time now it was believed that only his wallet, phone, and a 6 pack of condoms were in there (you never know how lucky you are gonna get), but recently he surprised me….
We were driving thru Napa wine country on a beautiful hot summer day when suddenly we both had the urge to stop and buy a bottle of wine at my favorite winery Peju. I ended up buying a case of their Carnival dessert wine. It’s very delicious. We continued driving thru wine country when the heat just got so unbearable. As a joke, I told Gary Jr. that we should just open a bottle and start drinking. After all, it takes a lot of wine to get me drunk… ok! He loved the idea, but soon I realized that we didn’t have any wine glasses, or a bottle opener. No sooner was I about to mention it did Gary Jr. pull a wine opener out from under his belly flap. I gasp and said “You’ve got to be kidding me you stupid awful bitch!”… He glanced over at me and yelled out “A lady is always prepared for anything!”. Once he got the bottle open I figured we would just take turns drinking from the bottle but again I was surprised when Gary Jr. pulled two wine glasses out from his belly flap. After I removed what looked like belly button lint out of my glass I poured me some wine and drank up. How impressed was I? Later that day when we got hungry he even pulled out some little sandwiches…. but he told me… “I used to carry the mayo on the side, as not everyone likes it, but then I had that incident with the jar of mayo breaking…. ouch!”
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
Question of the Week (07/06-07/13)
Jul 10th
This week’s question was asked by Ryan of Sausalito, CA:
The blog has slowed down recently. What have you all been up to?
God, Ryan. You’re such a fat ugly cow. And please see The Bitch is Back! for the answer to your question regarding my contributions to the blog. Nick has been in a drug-induced coma at SF General after hitting his head on his hoof. Don’t ask how he was able to bend over enough to reach his feet, but this should answer that. Benutty has been playing the role of Florence Hair-n-gale and tending to her little piggy.
P.S. readers, please send us good questions. Don’t be such a Ryan! Or any other imaginary person that Nick thought up. Thanks.
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Question of the Week (07/06-07/13)
Jul 6th
This week’s question was asked by Ryan of Sausalito, CA:
The blog has slowed down recently. What have you all been up to?
Busted! Yea the blog has slowed down a bit. For me… I have been busy doing shit. In June I was volunteering with SF Pride, and currently I am putting the final touches on the Amazing Race I am hosting. I’ll be back on track soon I am sure.
I think we need to bust out the video camera and start making some short films. Yesss.. New project for me. Be prepared bitches.
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Stay tuned for the other responses this week.
Question of the Week (04/17 – 04/23)
Apr 22nd
This week’s question was asked by Hugh Gadick of Den Haag, Netherlands:
Write a 50 word personals ad for each member of the Haus of Honies to appear in your local newspaper.
Nick:
Desperately seeking Susan. And by Susan, I mean David Beckham. But if he’s unavailable, I might consider sleeping with one of you bitches. If you’re lucky! That’s right I said it. I want body hair, facial hair and a well-trimmed beard or stubble. Looking for a spit for this little piggy.
Benutty:
Horny troll bottom looking for dom black top for corporate understall action. You come in. Find the stall next to the giggling mess. Tap your leather boot. I’ll put down my iPhone, stop blogging and will return your favors.
Jay:
Looking for a whistle. You see, I’m a whistleblower. Nothing gets me hotter than blowing on my union whistle and using a bullhorn. I’d love to grab you by the bull’s horns and take you for a ride. Pig bottoms only, please. You see, I miss my boyfriend.
Alfie:
SWM seeks SWMtF for transexual naked yoga encounter. Cannot host. Creepy roommate is always trying to get in on the action. Must be discreet. Did I mention I have a girlfriend who is also up for the challenge?
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Question of the Week (04/10 – 04/16)
Apr 15th
Describe each of the members of the Haus of Honies with one word.
Gary Jr: cutiesfabutasticloveyesssshunnies (it’s a word. look it up)
Benutty: tractortragic
Jay: palsycommabells
Misha: dirtytexterwhodiesfortextingthehunniesmysecretsandalsolover
3rin: electrotelevisaramaMGMTrecordplayer
Aunt Frawn: losingattheIdolpool
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Question of the Week 04/10 – 04/16
Apr 12th
Describe each of the members of the Haus of Honies with one word.
Gary Jr: spellbinding
Jay: fervid
Alfie: convivial
Nick: efficacious
also
Kitty: perspicacious
Misha: telluric
3rin: felicitous
FrankieRose: garrulous
Aunt F: piquant
HRH Hannah: bellicose
Chongo: ribald
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Question of the Week 04/10 – 04/16
Apr 10th
This week’s question was asked by Patty O’Doors of Key West, FL:
Describe each of the members of the Haus of Honies with one word.
Benutty: Hairy
Gary Jr: Uber-Ridiculous
Jay: Horny
Alfie: Bicycle-Shorts
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Question of the Week 04/03 – 04/09
Apr 7th
What are your top 3 Disney/Pixar animated feature films of all time? And which villain has most inspired your personality and/or signature look? (Coz bitches, you isn’t princesses huhhhnnss!!)
- The Fox and the Hound– it’s a forgotten classic. it’s makes me cry every time. the story of a fox and hound who become friends as children on a farm. the orphaned fox is raised by an old grandma who is lonely but when the fox grows up she releases him into the wild. Soon they discover they have been dealt life’s cruelest joke: in the real world, a fox and a hound could never be friends. they are born enemies. the first time i watched it. i was positive that my grandma was the old woman character in it. also, there is a big fat ass owl named Big Mama. umm, hello. this movie was meant for me. and it was made the year i was born. love it.
- One Hundred and One Dalmatians — i friggin love cruella de vil and sergeant tibbs. and i also love how crazy the animation looks when cruella is frantically driving her car in the snow and mud. so good.
- The Little Mermaid — i love the this movie. it was run on a loop during my entire 8th or 9th year of life. me and my niece who was about my age (because my family is ghetto) watched that movie all the time. loved it. still do. i could sit through the entire movie any day and still enjoy it. go on and kiss da girl. waah whoa.
- Honorable Mention goes to Robin Hood and Peter Pan. cuties.
Ursula = me. Refer to Sweetums and my purple tentacles. Signature look comes from Snow White’s evil queen….because I have that costume in drag. Just haven’t had the chance to wear it out yet. teehee.__________________
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Question of the Week 04/03 – 04/09
Apr 7th
What are your top 3 Disney/Pixar animated feature films of all time? And which villain has most inspired your personality and/or signature look? (Coz bitches, you isn’t princesses huhhhnnss!!)
- The sword in the Stone: BEST DISNEY EVER. I can’t really tell you what it is about this movie that I love so much, but it’s been my favorite since I was a kid. It gets passed over and forgotten about a lot but I love wizards and Merlin is awesome, the owl Archimedes is awesome, the whole thing is great. Also this movie has the greatest scene in any Disney movie, the great wizard dual featuring the greatest villain ever: Mad Madam Mim
- Robin Hood: The allure of a fox who is a master with a bow and arrow is just too great. Evil snakes getting drunk in kegs of beer, alms for the poor, and cute little turtles. Good movie
- Aladdin: Aladdin rounds out the list for two reasons. Firstly, Jasmine is the hottest Disney princess by far, secondly, I like that it is based on middle eastern folk lore. Finally some love for my family in the desert.
Honorable mentions: The Rescuers and The Great Mouse Detective
Which villain inspired my personality? Well I would not describe myself as very villainous at all normally but I suppose if I had to choose I would say Sir Hiss (the snake from Robin Hood) because although I would never be a headlining villain, I have the potential to play a great villain sidekick.
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Question of the Week 04/03 – 04/09
Apr 6th
What are your top 3 Disney/Pixar animated feature films of all time? And which villain has most inspired your personality and/or signature look? (Coz bitches, you isn’t princesses huhhhnnss!!)
- The Lion King — obviously! I used to perform interpretive dances to The Circle of Life in front of my family (I’m a self-taught pro in African dances).
- The Little Mermaid — in 1st grade I took a girl on a date to the movies to see it; then in 2nd grade I held hands with a different girl while watching it in class. Oops. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
- Sleeping Beauty — only because of the scene in the fairy cottage when they keep turning everything into different colors! I love those fucking bitches.
I’m pretty sure my personality is most inspired by the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland. I’m pretty ridiculous in general and although I don’t really hate anyone I like to pretend I do & exclaim that I’m gonna chop off their heads (or some variation of that). Also, I hella love croquet.
But my signature look is definitely most inspired by Scar, huhhhhhhns!
And: Pixar sucks.
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Question of the Week 04/03 – 04/09
Apr 3rd
This week’s question was asked by Samantha Girth of Reno, NV:
What are your top 3 Disney/Pixar animated feature films of all time? And which villain has most inspired your personality and/or signature look? (Coz bitches, you isn’t princesses huhhhnnss!!)
I’d have to say the following are my top 3 favorite Disney/Pixar animated movies:
- Beauty and the Beast – Has the best story of all the films
- The Lion King – Good songs, good story and good setting
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame – The darkest of all Disney films… so good
What villain has inspired my personality and/or signature look?? Well I would like to think that I take some of the best parts of many villains.
My rage comes from Cruella de Vil
My hate comes from Frollo
My inner diva comes from Maleficent
My alcoholism comes from Gaston
My cold heart comes from Hades
and
My foolishness comes from Captain Hook
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Question of the Week 03/27 – 04/02
Mar 31st
Ok, so tell me, how does a middle-aged (yet, somewhat cool) straight couple attend a Lady GaGa concert and fit in? I don’t think we are part of her “Little Monsters”, but we do love her! We really want to go, but don’t want to feel old and ordinary.
Latex.
Impeccable knowledge of song lyrics.
Tight jeans.
Total excitement.
Love.
Eye makeup.
More eye makeup.
Original up-do.
Naughty thoughts.
Shiny things, like glitter.
Trendy yet unique accessories.
Eat before, but not too much.
Raise your claw.
Smuggle in alcohol.
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Question of the Week 03/27 – 04/02
Mar 30th
This week’s question was asked by AuntF of Benicia, CA:
Ok, so tell me, how does a middle-aged (yet, somewhat cool) straight couple attend a Lady GaGa concert and fit in? I don’t think we are part of her “Little Monsters”, but we do love her! We really want to go, but don’t want to feel old and ordinary.
No…let me break it down:
- 1. Buy matching creme nighties from Ross: Dress for Less. Don’t settle for a cheap white slip. Get the one with lace and rhinestones.
- 2. Buy a white feather boa from the Halloween Store.
- 3. Buy a wig and pink hair spray from the Wig Shop on Mission.
- 4. Go over to Nick’s house. Take over Jay’s bedroom mirror. Apply copious amounts of black eyeliner, black eyeshadow and ruby red lipstick. Foundation that shit like there’s no tomorrow to hide the stubble.
- 5. Apply your pig snout that Benutty got you.
- 6. Make a sign that says “I’m bluffin with my muffin.”
- 7. And drink like a fish. Tip well. Drink more. And evenutally the waitress will comp your drinks because you’ve given her like $50 in tips.
Double numbering is so 2010. WHHHHHHHHHHAT. GIRL. WHHHHHAT.
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