Next stop… Whores!
Posts by Nick
Not-So-Deep Conversations
May 20th
Picture it: At Toad Hall last night with Gary Jr….
Gary Jr.: Ew someone farted by us
Me: No… someone took a shit in the bathroom, and you know who takes shits in bars don’t you?
Gary Jr.: Benutty?
Me: Um no…. Lesbians.
D@2 Rewind
May 19th
A year ago today I posted episode 5 of Dead Giveaway… Seems like it was much longer than that right? Enjoy it again you fucking sluts.
PS: This is our 800th post on the blog. Say What!???
That’s Some Bullshit
May 18th
So today I heard that Gary Jr. was posting a shit load of new stuff on the blog…. a blog that I thought was dead, but I guess not. Anyways I clicked on my bookmark on my work computer, and the stupid blog wouldn’t load. I kept trying and nothing. I finally checked it out on my phone, and it worked just fine. I checked with a couple other co-workers who read the blog, and no one here at my work can access the blog anymore. They fucking blocked it!!! Facebook still works, Twitter still works, FailBlog still works… so what’s the problem here people? Maybe our blog is too racy for our engineering team or something. This is just another reason why I need to find a new job. I guess it is a good thing we are not posting shit on the blog everyday anymore.
**posted from my iPhone**
Busted!
Apr 15th
Alfie… Does Kitty know you are on a secret nationwide drag tour right now? I see you got lucky in Minnesota. Good job girl.
Nick’s Greatest Moments: The Chicken Incident
Apr 1st
About 5 or 6 years ago Jay moved in with Gary Jr. I didn’t really know Gary Jr. at the time, and it was not easy getting to know him since he was forever out drinking with his friends. Sometime in late September/early October Jay went to Southern California for some union bullshit, and Gary Jr. invited me to hang out with him and his other roommate.
I had met Gary Jr. at some weird farmer’s market thing in the Civic Center area, and he was holding a live chicken. He kept making jokes about fattening it up and eating it later on. Now I didn’t know him that well, so I figured anything was possible. It just made the experience of living in San Francisco even stranger. But you know I wasn’t going to ask questions or anything. He wasn’t used to my brutal honesty yet.
We decided to head back to his place and clean up before going out for drinks. I got on the 5-Fulton bus first and then Gary Jr. attempted to as well. The bus driver stopped him:
- Bus Driver: No live chickens on the bus!
- Gary Jr.: What? I’m not going to let it loose or anything.
- Bus Driver: No… No live chickens!
I stood up thinking we were going to have to get off the bus, but then Gary Jr. did something so shocking! He looked down at the chicken, grabbed its neck and broke it… killing the chicken! He then looked back at the driver, and walked passed him and sat down by me. I was in shock, and I was embarrassed… and I kinda felt bad for the chicken.
- Me: So what are you going to do with it now?
- Gary Jr.: I’ll eat it. So what, who cares!
And that… is one of Nick’s Greatest Moments.
Discovery Channels: Creatures in Captivity
Mar 26th
Most wild animals in captivity develop repetitive and purposeless motor behaviors called “stereotypical behaviors”. Examples of this include pacing around or self-grooming. These behaviors are thought to be caused by the animals’ abnormal environment. Unlike most wild animals, the troll has very few stereotypical behaviors. Although the troll is known for overly self-grooming, very rarely does one find the troll pacing around. In fact the troll is most known for its hilarious and sometimes disgusting dance shows. The troll loves and seeks out attention of others at all times, and can become very irritating when the attention it seeks goes unnoticed. Many who keep these foul creatures have learned that if you simply scare the troll or throw its belongings it will find a dark corner to cower in.
To see a picture of a male troll performing one of its dance shows click here. This specific dance show involved fog and an elaborate water show.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 25th
So yesterday our AIDS/LifeCycle group met to plan shitz, and afterward we decided to go to our teammates house. Shawnito didn’t want to go because he was being a total lame ass, but I forced him. After about 10 minutes of hanging out Shawnito left.
Cut to today’s conversation:
Me: Why did you even go all the way to our friends house if you were just going to leave hella fast.
Shawnito: Well I was trying to go home earlier until you said “don’t be a Gary Jr.”
Me: Oh… so what if I had said that the second time you tried to leave.
Shawnito: Then I would have said “Oh I’ll show you a Gary Jr.”
Me: What?… and then you just raise your shirt? Hahahaha
Protect Yourself
Mar 24th
Congratulations… Gary Jr. just became an official member of the NRA. Look out America!
A-List In Sacramento
Mar 24th
So I was in Sacramento this last weekend, and as I’m sure you figured I was out drinking. Duh. So near the end of the night I was walking by Faces and the door guy (who has been there forever!) saw me and said “Hi Nick”. I was like… you remember me? hahaha. This fool does not forget anyone. Anyways I asked if I could go inside to say hi to Harry (one of the bartenders I always got drinks from back in the day). So he let me in and I wandered over to the bar Harry was at. He was busy at the time helping these 3 girls with drinks… you see Faces is more of a straight (read: faghag) bar now than a gay bar. So he was about half way thru making their drinks when he saw me out of the corner of his eye. He dropped everything and walked over to me to give me a hug and kiss, and to catch up with me for about a minute. All the while the straight girls (read: faghags) were looking mighty pissed about the fact that they had to wait. But hello… I’m obviously very A-List at Faces because I have spent tens of thousands of dollars there. Don’t be jealous straight girls (read: faghags)… mama is way more important than your ass. I’ve paid my dues…. I’ve flashed him my penis many times during many of mardi gras celebrations. So suck it and deal with it.
Diet Update 03/21/11
Mar 21st
Ugh this past weekend was not a good one for me. Lots of drinking and lots of bad food, but fuck it I had a really good time. I had attempted to go on a bike ride Saturday morning, but then it started pouring and hailing. This weather is really starting to piss me off people!
Anyways looks like some of you are doing really well with your diets… what are you doing to keep those pounds coming off? Eating better? Exercise? Enema?
Nick
02/22/11 – 0 pounds lost
02/28/11 – 1 pound lost
03/07/11 – 0 pounds lost
03/21/11 – +1 pounds
Total lost: 0 pound
Shawnito
02/22/11 – 0 pounds lost
02/28/11 – 0 pounds lost
03/07/11 – 1 pound lost
03/21/11 – Waiting
Total lost: 1 pound
Aunt F
02/22/11 – 0 pounds lost
02/28/11 – 2.5 pounds lost
03/07/11 – 1 pound lost
03/21/11 – 2 pounds lost
Total lost: 5.5 pounds
FrankieRose
02/22/11 – 0 pounds lost
02/28/11 – 0 pounds lost
03/21/11 – waiting
Total lost: 0 pounds
Dave
02/22/11 – 0 pounds lost
02/28/11 – 1 pound lost
03/07/11 – 2 pounds lost
03/21/11 – 2 pounds lost
Total lost: 5 pounds
Chongo
02/22/11 – 0 pounds lost
02/28/11 – 6 pounds lost
03/21/11 – waiting
Total lost: 6 pounds
HRH
02/22/11 – 0 pounds lost
02/28/11 – 0 pounds lost
03/07/11 – 1.5 pounds lost
03/21/11 – 1 pound lost
Total lost: 2.5 pounds
It’s Friday, Friday!
Mar 18th
It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend
Gary Jr., Misha, and Benutty
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend
Alfie and Nick
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Jay and Shawnito
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after…wards
I don’t want this weekend to end
Jay Found His Present
Mar 11th
Who is responsible? Jay busted out his suit yesterday to go to a meeting, and this was found inside the pocket…
