Next stop… Horror!
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Jul 15th
Dating is like a box of See’s Candy. You poke, squeeze, lick, taste and smell all your options before finally finding the right one.
Not-So-Deep ‘You Know What I Hate?’
May 26th
I hate losing games. This is why I created a system in which I always win. For example…
If i’m playing Blokus with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Benutty beats me… I win. How is that possible you ask? Well let’s put it this way. If Benutty won then he either cheated or got lucky… so therefore… I win.
Another example…
If I’m playing the Settlers of Catan with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Gary Jr. beats me… I win. How? Well obviously Benutty either cheated or helped Gary Jr. win, or Gary Jr. got lucky… so therefore… I win.
See how simple this is.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Apr 22nd
So I bought a bottle of water today and headed into work. The elevator was full of people, and this random guy turned to me and said… “You bought a bottle of water on Earth Day?”. I looked down at my bottle, and said… “Um… I’m going to recycle it.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Mar 31st
I was drinking root beer the other day, and I was wondering what gives it flavor. I looked it up on Wikipedia (because it’s all knowing) and I learned that it gets its flavor from Sassafras root.
About an hour later I thought: “Ohhhh… that’s why they call it Root Beer”.
I hate myself so bad sometimes.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 21st
(Picture it… I’m sitting on a cement block in the park near the Ferry Building)
Tourist: Excuse me… do you live here?
Nick: In the park?
Tourist: Um… no… in San Francisco?
Nick: Oooohhhh… yea.
oops.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 18th
Gary Jr.: I love scary movies
Nick: I don’t… well I don’t when I’m with you… You always squeeze my leg hella hard when something scares you.
Gary Jr.: (looking at an old man walking by) I want to be like that when I’m old. Standing straight, looking good.
Nick: Yea but you’d be in a wheelchair
Gary Jr.: Dead! (grabs my leg hard) Oops… I was watching a horror movie
Nick: Yea… of your life
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 25th
“Kris Allen’s album is really good when you have it on shuffle with other music… When it comes on it’s like a refresher… like something… refreshing.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 14th
“Americans are like dogs. They follow the person they think is an authority figure no matter how stupid they are because they don’t think for themselves.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 8th
“I love toast because it’s like bread… but hotter!”
Oh hoh hoh hoh hoh… I am zee hot fraanch toast.
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 6th
“If you ever feel like quitting your job, I think you should just do it. It’s not like you need the money anyway. Oh wait… Maybe you do. Sorry Gary Jr.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Feb 2nd
“Happiness is not my friends dancing around singing Lady GaGa songs with champes in their hands… It’s when they finally stop.” Exhibit A
Not-So-Deep Conversations… with Nick
Jan 30th
Jay: The neighbor told me the women who lived here before was schizophrenic lady who used to scream all the time.
Gary Jr.: Oh I bet she lived in your apartment… ooo be careful her spirit might be lingering..
Nick: No.. I would know if there were a spirit in this unit because I would feel their presence. I’m like a medium.
Gary Jr.: No hunny… you’re a large.
Not-So-Deep Conversations… with Nick
Jan 28th
Jay: I had a dream last night that I was having sex with you
Nick: Um.. you’re only supposed to have sex dreams about people you don’t have sex with
Jay: …
Nick: …
Oops.
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 27th
“Happiness is like a phone call from an old friend… except they called to tell you they’re dying… hmm I guess that would be sadness then”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts… with Nick
Jan 24th
“Being straight is just like being gay… well except the whole liking the opposite sex thing… yuck”