Next stop… Whores!
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Not-So-Deep Conversations
May 20th
Picture it: At Toad Hall last night with Gary Jr….
Gary Jr.: Ew someone farted by us
Me: No… someone took a shit in the bathroom, and you know who takes shits in bars don’t you?
Gary Jr.: Benutty?
Me: Um no…. Lesbians.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 25th
So yesterday our AIDS/LifeCycle group met to plan shitz, and afterward we decided to go to our teammates house. Shawnito didn’t want to go because he was being a total lame ass, but I forced him. After about 10 minutes of hanging out Shawnito left.
Cut to today’s conversation:
Me: Why did you even go all the way to our friends house if you were just going to leave hella fast.
Shawnito: Well I was trying to go home earlier until you said “don’t be a Gary Jr.”
Me: Oh… so what if I had said that the second time you tried to leave.
Shawnito: Then I would have said “Oh I’ll show you a Gary Jr.”
Me: What?… and then you just raise your shirt? Hahahaha
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Feb 24th
Me: I’ve never passed out before but my sister has. She fell into the dogs water bowl. hahaha
Amineh: Oh I have, but I felt like a million times better afterward. It’s like your body reboots itself. Like hitting restart on a PC.
Me: Oh well it’s never happened to me. I must be a Mac.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Feb 2nd
Jay: Have you see my union contract book?
Nick: Check the drawer we keep the lube in… You know… since it’s something that gets you off.
Sad but true. 
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Dec 28th
On Christmas night my friends and I went to a couple bars in Sacramento for drinks. After we left the Merc I got this picture via text from my friend Brandon.
I ignored it, because hello… it was just a picture of his mug. About an hour later I get this text:
Brandon: Did you get the pic of me at the merc?
Me: Yea girl. Gorgeous eye brows as usual hahaha
Brandon: My eyes aren’t brown!!!!
Me: I said EYE BROWS bitch!! not brown eyes!
What a dumb bitch… the sad thing is this isn’t just because he was drinking… this is how he has been his whole life.
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Jul 15th
Dating is like a box of See’s Candy. You poke, squeeze, lick, taste and smell all your options before finally finding the right one.
Not-So-Deep ‘You Know What I Hate?’
May 26th
I hate losing games. This is why I created a system in which I always win. For example…
If i’m playing Blokus with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Benutty beats me… I win. How is that possible you ask? Well let’s put it this way. If Benutty won then he either cheated or got lucky… so therefore… I win.
Another example…
If I’m playing the Settlers of Catan with Benutty and Gary Jr., and Gary Jr. beats me… I win. How? Well obviously Benutty either cheated or helped Gary Jr. win, or Gary Jr. got lucky… so therefore… I win.
See how simple this is.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Apr 22nd
So I bought a bottle of water today and headed into work. The elevator was full of people, and this random guy turned to me and said… “You bought a bottle of water on Earth Day?”. I looked down at my bottle, and said… “Um… I’m going to recycle it.”
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Mar 31st
I was drinking root beer the other day, and I was wondering what gives it flavor. I looked it up on Wikipedia (because it’s all knowing) and I learned that it gets its flavor from Sassafras root.
About an hour later I thought: “Ohhhh… that’s why they call it Root Beer”.
I hate myself so bad sometimes.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 21st
(Picture it… I’m sitting on a cement block in the park near the Ferry Building)
Tourist: Excuse me… do you live here?
Nick: In the park?
Tourist: Um… no… in San Francisco?
Nick: Oooohhhh… yea.
oops.
Not-So-Deep Conversations
Mar 18th
Gary Jr.: I love scary movies
Nick: I don’t… well I don’t when I’m with you… You always squeeze my leg hella hard when something scares you.
Gary Jr.: (looking at an old man walking by) I want to be like that when I’m old. Standing straight, looking good.
Nick: Yea but you’d be in a wheelchair
Gary Jr.: Dead! (grabs my leg hard) Oops… I was watching a horror movie
Nick: Yea… of your life
Not-So-Deep Thoughts
Feb 25th
“Kris Allen’s album is really good when you have it on shuffle with other music… When it comes on it’s like a refresher… like something… refreshing.”