Posts by Jay

Dear Boyfriend

Dear Boyfriend,

Why when doing your laundry did I find a little bit of york peppermint patty stuck inside your pajama pocket?

~ Monkey

Fail

I looked in my mailbox today and received this awesome coupon.

What is this valid for??

30 Pounds

I weighed myself today at 175 pounds.  This puts my total loss at 30 pounds.  Go me!

Scary as always

Since Bunutty didn’t have a picture …

When did Gary Jr. start calling himself Jason?

Smart way to hide the neck fat there, Gary.  Wish I had though of that.

Dead Pigs (not Nick)

I live in The Inner Richmond district of San Francisco.  A busy commercial corridor in this area is Clement Street.  Sometimes, this area is called “New Chinatown”.

I was off work all week, thanks to the State of California not being able to fully fund higher education (because higher education is not really important after all).

While walking down Clement Street on Thursday, I saw … THE DEAD PIG TRUCK.  No joke.  Dead headless pigs — in a truck.

Want to see?  Do you really want to see?  Ok, ok, this is gross, but here you go.  And here is more.

Secret Back Story to the Kettlecorn Guy …

Ok, so here is the part that only Nick knows about “Kettlecorn Guy” aka Andy …

I talked to this guy too. It seems Nick and I have the same “type” or something. I don’t know if it was before or after Nick’s incident listed below however.

We met online and had talked on the phone for a bit. I had to be about 19 years old at the time. It turns out Andy and I were both born in Hayward. How exactly that came up, I don’t know either …

Having never met, but talked on the phone, we had agreed to “get together” at some point on a Friday evening. There were no plans made in cement, it was more left at “I’ll call you Friday night after I’m done with rehearsal. It should be around 8pm.” I was doing technical theatre at the time.

Well, things were running late, so I called him at 7:30pm or so and left him a voicemail saying, “things were taking longer than planned, but I’ll call you to let you know when I’m heading out of here.

Next thing I know, I have a bunch of voicemails from Andy. (See, I was working in a basement and don’t get cell phone signals down there.) They started off calm, asking if I wanted to come to his house to watch a movie. The next one got a little more desperate, asking if I knew what time I would be out. The next voicemail he was in a panic, asking if I got his other two voicemails. The next was about how he really wanted me to come over and see a movie at his house.

There was five voicemails in all. All over the span of 15 minutes.

Needless to say, I never called the fool back.

Laser hair removal worked for Benutty

I found new shirtless pictures of Benutty aka ‘Jeff’.  I’m so happy to see that the laser hair removal worked for you girl.  2010 is going to be your year!

Benutty on Grindr

Benutty on Grindr

P.S.   If you don’t know what grindr is, you are probably not a homosexual.

Let me add my yearbook quote too …

With all this talk about yearbook quotes, I thought it would only be fitting to add mine too.

Buildings having floors used for human occupancy located more than 75 feet above the lowest level of Fire Department access shall have a Fire Safety Director. The Fire Safety Director shall posses a certificate of completion of a Fire Department training program. Such certificates shall be valid for not more than five years.

Oh wait, my high school didn’t do “yearbook quotes”.