Next stop… Whores!
Misha’s a Mess
This Oven’s Made for Baking and That’s Just What It’ll Do…
Mar 7th
As everyone well knows, Misha is a baker and a candlestick maker. Oh wait. Nicklet is the candlestick maker…but don’t ask him to prove it. Two years ago, he won a box of Crayons from me because he got the most Oscar predictions right. He claimed he was going to make me a Crayola Crayon Candle but I’ve never seen it to this day. I’d asked him to relax his cheeks and let it slide out but I guess he just likes the feel too much. But I digress…
Misha is always making bread. He makes different types of starters with different types of yeast. He used the spent grain from our beer making and uses that in our bread (which actually turned out really yumyum and tasty and cuties). Almost any week at our house, you will find some sort of finished loaf, a proofing dough, a starter in the fridge or a Pig in a Blanket.
Well, I was in the hankering for some Tater Tots one Saturday morning so I threw on the oven to 425 and started doing the dishes while Misha slept. I finished the dishes, loaded the Tater Tots to the baking sheet, opened up the oven and ALAS! A silver IKEA bowl with a cheesecloth over it (slightly smoking) and a tealight holder that was roughly 400 degrees Fahrenheit. I pulled it out and looked underneath the cheesecloth. Of course, it was a dried-out bunch of dough that had concretized to the IKEA bowl.
Come to find out, Misha left the dough in the oven with a burning tealight so that the dough would be warm enough while it proofed. Of course, he forgot about it, went to bed and in the morning I had concrete to chisel from an IKEA bowl. So I called out to Misha and he was like “Oh oops. Forgot about that.”
Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand here today to say that that has now happened to me three times. Misha could not remember a bowl of proofing dough if his life depended on it. And now, I always open the oven door and check the contents before turning on the oven because Misha is a mess.
No Really. Misha = Mess
Jan 8th
I am not joking when I talk about Misha being a mess. He saw my inaugural post finally. And he got all pissy.
Misha: “Umm. That Misha’s a Mess post is all wrong. You’ve got all your facts mixed up.”
Gary Jr: “Oh really? What exactly did I get? Hmmmm?”
Misha: “That story happened right here in this room. We were lying in bed together in the morning.”
Gary Jr: “Realllllly? So Nick was lying next to us in bed and we were chatting before work about Benutty’s texts, were we? Any of that ring a bell?”
Misha: “Oops. Yeah. It was at The Trappist. But I swear we talked about it in bed. Didn’t we?”
Oh sweet silly messy Misha. He gets so confused. Hehe. And in fairness, he’s mixing up two different conversations (the one at the Trappist and one in bed that will eventually become a post because it was totally a mess).
Who is BK and Why Does His Breath Smell Like Blue Cheese?
Jan 2nd
Nick came over to record a Breather video and we decided to congratulate ourselves by having a little glass of beer at:
While we were drinking our Tripel Karmeliets and Gouden Carolus Noels, we kept getting slutty texts from Benutty. The Grizzly kept claiming that she was hanging out at Badlands with BK and how BK was a sensitive lover. Misha had no idea who BK was so we explained that BK was a friend of Benutty’s. We also told Misha that he’s a cutiepie, that there is dynamic sexual tension between me and BK and also showed Misha a picture of BK. We took a few more sips of beer and then received another text from Benutty. We giggled and Misha wanted to know what was so funny. We explained that Benutty just claimed that she made out with him and that we should be jealous. Misha then looked confused and said, “Who? Who did Benutty make out with?” Then, I said, “Oh just BK.” And Misha followed it up with, “Wait. Who’s BK?”
Nick and I just looked at each other drinking our beers. I mouthed to Nick, “Misha’s a mess.”