Next stop… Whores!
The Toilet
ToiletPost: In the Nick of Time
Jan 20th
It’s weird that my workday is half over before Nick even wakes up.
It’s weird that I can poop half the amount of poop in twice the amount of time as Gary, but can also poop twice the amount in half the time, too. Trixie.
ToiletPost: Circle of Life
Jan 7th
I’m here now. Then I’m going to eat some Del Taco. I’ll be back here in 30 minutes. Yeah, girl, it’s the circle of life — and just the way things are.
HRH Be Hella Nazzz
Sep 1st
HRH Hannah and I were texting about our plans to go to Sacramento this weekend and then she broke the news that we weren’t just texting – we were TOILET TEXTING!
Out of nowhere, mid-convo, she says:
“I am taking the worst shit right now.”
ToiletPost: Please God Let Me Rise Up
Aug 27th
Omg. I went to play volleyball on Wednesday night at Baladium in Alameda and let me tell you how big of a mess my body is in right now.
I stayed home from work yesterday coz I could barely move. I thought i had a sprained ankle coz I couldn’t move it or stand on it and it hurt like hell. Kept it up and on ice all day and it’s pretty ok now so I think it was just sore. But add to that: blister on foot, bloody nail on toe, floor burns on shin and knee, three bruises on palm of hand, and ball burns on forearms. Sore shoulders, forearms, elbows, feet, and quads.
Seriously I hope I can even stand up off this toilet when I’m done peeing out of my ass.
TMI ToiletPost
Jun 2nd
Totally having a farting war with the girl next to me!! Who cares, he works in webdev!
Omg! He just got up off the toilet after pooping to pee!! Wait. Do all guys do that? Isn’t it easier to just pee while you’re still sitting????
Sorry. TMI.
Dealwiddit
ToiletPost: The Village Voice
May 24th
Damn! Every goddamn time I lean forward on this freaking seat the motherfucking touchless sensor thing flushes the goddamn toilet and now my freaking asscheeks are wet!
Not that they haven’t been wet all week from the freaking New York humidity! Huhhhhnnns.
ToiletPost
Apr 16th
I wonder if the guy in the stall next to me thinks that I’m a fat girl crying in the bathroom coz my boyfriend broke up with me via sext last night, or does he know that I’m recovering from a cold and gots the sniffles?
ToiletPost
Mar 24th
It’s weird – you’d have no idea that Gary Jr. is on vacation this week coz there’s been no change in the frequency of his posting or commenting.
ToiletPost
Mar 19th
I’m famous on Twitter for my ToiletTweets. I love to post shit while shitting. So obviously I’m in love with the WordPress blogging application that allows me to easily post blogs while on the toilet!!! Let this be an introduction to the filthy mayhem that is to come from this realization — so long as this blog lives/dies:
