Next stop… Whores!
Paparazzi
Papa-papa-razzi
Mar 31st
If it walks like Dixie Normous, has a Hello Kitty purse like Dixie Normous, wears hot pink Variety Shop leggings like Dixie Normous, shops at Walmart on a Sunday like Dixie Normous, can barely walk in ho-heels like Dixie Normous, and just came from a church in a black faux leather jacket then, well, it’s probably that wannabe drag queen Shangela. Halleloo! But if it’s not Shangela, then it’s probably actually that ladyboy-still-looks-like-a-boy lady Dixie fucking Normous. Yeah, girl, look who I found high-stepping it in the latest Christian Siriano for Payless ho-heels at Walmart-West Sacramento last Sunday — after a rehearsal for Shamperella’s funeral hunnyreal. Is that an ash-gray sweater tied around her waist? Oh, huhhhhnns.
Gary Jr. Encourages Violence Toward Innocent Cameragirl
Jan 10th
See what happens when Nick & Benutty take Gary Jr. to Sacramento? She incites violence. I almost died filming this wild hungry hungry hipbottomus in action, and all I was trying to do was get a reenactment of her Oscar-winning performance! I blame Jr. because he had hella long beach iced teas and then she prodded this bitch into a verbal altercation with my camera. Huhns is lucky it was after two, otherwise I probably would have died.
Papa-papa-razzi
Dec 24th
If it walks like Shalita Double-Double, has a rat’s nest like Shalita Double-Double, wears secretary clothes like Shalita Double-Double, doesn’t look both ways when crossing the street like Shalita Double-Double, has no friends like Shalita Double-Double, and smells like a shalitterbox then, well, it’s probably that filthy funky fucking whorebag Shalita Double-Double. Yeah, girl, look who I found strutting her shit around the Castro on Wednesday night — after an awful rendition of Santa Baby at The Lookout. Loving the Cucci purse though.
Intermission
Nov 18th
D@2 took the night off to see Harry Potter 7 pt. 1
Gary is eating popcorn. Alfie is cutting a whole in the bottom of his popcorn tub. Nick is snorting with some whorish pre-teen Luna Lovegood. I’m staring at one nerd waiting until he (and he will) picks his nose and eats it. Kitty is wet.
Q: What Did Kitty Learn in Spain?
Aug 23rd
A: how to take a siesta at any time of day with any amount of food in her and after a bottle of wine
Gary Jr. NOT in Colombia as Still Being Reported
Aug 10th
Gary Jr. isn’t in Colombia. She lied.
She’s given up on LoseIt to cut out pounds and has instead begun the extreme SleepOnStreets diet as evidenced by this paparazzi shot of her taken this morning on Montgomery and Sutter, just a block from Escape from New York pizza and multiple fro-yo shops.
Snooki-Rose Backs It Up for D@2
Aug 3rd
Leave it up to Snooki-Rose to back it up like this for Nickipoo in her own poo!! And she’s doing that new dance craze, the “Oh Am I?”!
And, look! Oh shit! Snooks-Rosemary even got a piece of that satisfaction shit that Dixie was laying out! Holler.
