Gary Jr.

Check me out at www.deadat2am.com/gary

Homepage: http://www.deadat2am.com/gary/


Posts by Gary Jr.

Don’t Get it Twisted, You Imp.

November 22, 2011 - 6:07 PM

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Everyone knows I went in Halloween drag as your mom. Mother Nicklet

The Stench of the Working Nick

November 22, 2011 - 1:16 PM

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I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to take a hot towel to Nick’s face. How long will it take for him to notice?

Nick & Benutty Had a Son

June 3, 2011 - 9:14 AM

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The House of Swine and the House of Hair united their bloodlines and produced a hair–em–I mean an heir.

I Am Your Grandma – Grandpa Troll

June 1, 2011 - 12:42 PM

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Just when I thought I couldn’t watch enough of the “I Am Your Grandma” video, a troll pops up and remixes it and provides his own commentary. I’m now in love with the Grandma and the Troll. “I am your Grandpa. I banged your Grandma”

Deadly Outbreak of Horse Virus

June 1, 2011 - 9:30 AM

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Forces rodeo queens to show off their talents by riding stick ponies. BWAHAHAHAHA.

Sweetums Sings Italiano

May 28, 2011 - 11:36 PM

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Posted in Sweetums Series | 2 comments

Never ever invite Sweetums to a housewarming during the same month that Lady Gaga releases a new album and never give Sweetums 4-5 sour beers. Lady Sings Americano

Mississippi River is No Match for Human Fortitude

May 27, 2011 - 1:27 PM

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This picture is kind of amazing. I hope the homemade levee lasts long enough to save their house. Godspeed!

My First Stolen Cassette

May 27, 2011 - 1:11 PM

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Posted in Posts by Gary Jr. | 3 comments

I was probably 9 or 10 when I stole my first cassette tape. My sister, KiKi, had a bitchin’ Camaro. I googled-imaged a ton of 1970s and 1980s Camaro trying to see if I could pinpoint the year without asking her. I think it was either a 1978 Camaro or a 1981 Camaro….but it’s hard [...]

A Conversation with Birgitte Hedda Ola

May 25, 2011 - 3:45 PM

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Posted in Posts by Gary Jr. | 3 comments

As you might remember, I have a Norwegian coworker named Birgitte Hedda Ola. Birgitte happens to be friends with an actress that we’ll name Thlivia Oh Ilby. Birgitte described her friend to me like this: “She’s a really great lovely person. Knowing her personally has helped me frame the actual size of all other actresses. [...]

May is Strokes Awareness Month

May 25, 2011 - 7:56 AM

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Posted in Posts by Gary Jr. | 2 comments

Nick and I work in two different buildings right next to each other in San Francisco. Once in a while, we’ll get an afternoon coffee together. Gary Jr.: Alright. Coffee time? Nick: Si. Gary Jr.: Perfect. Nick: se ou i a ho sec Gary Jr.: really? se ou i ho sec? are you thai all [...]

Great News, Nicklet! A Little Pink is A-OKAY! MMKAY!

May 24, 2011 - 3:21 PM

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Posted in I'll Eat It | 2 comments

BREAKING NEWS ON THE D@2 DINING CAR: The USDA released a new recommendation today. It lowered the cooking recommendation for pork! 145 degrees is all that’s needed. A little pink pork is a-okay according to the USDA. That means you sit Nicklet out in the sun for about 15-20 minutes on a warm sunny San [...]

“Never Gonna Get ANY of This!”

May 23, 2011 - 3:00 PM

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Posted in Posts by Gary Jr. | 3 comments

My landlord installed some security cameras at our house last week. (I live in Oakland. And there have been a string of strange occurrences at our house, so he’s just being cautious). While he was installing one on the side of the house, I took out the trash and made some friendly chit-chat. I was [...]