Benutty

Champes. Rihanna. Hard. Books. Diet. Liar. Catan. Glitter. Dance. Dark. In. The. GaGa. Madonna. Shit. Die. 2. Morning. Yes. Honey. Mami. Aunties. Presents. When. There. Yes. Elephant. Yes. Time. Honey. Beyonce. Train. Wreck. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Sorry. Bite me. Sequins.

Homepage: http://www.deadat2am.com/benutty/


Posts by Benutty

Yeah! What DOES That Make You?

July 29, 2010 - 12:40 PM

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments

Apparently it was Ke$ha that said this, and NOT Gary-Ke$ha as originally assumed by national media:
“I have a song I wrote the other night called Take It Off about when I went to a drag show and how really turned on I was by these transvestite men taking clothes off. I was like, what does [...]

Benutty’s G’damn Bucket List

July 27, 2010 - 11:53 AM

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments

Fine. I’ll do it.
Benutty’s Bucket List:

be on Survivor and/or Big Brother and/or Amazing Race
go to a World Cup game
live in Manhattan
become a published author
perform in drag at a bar/in public

And for the hell of it…
Benutty’s Fuckit List:

Landon Donovan
Jay-Z
The Rock
Alcide
George Clooney

Preparations, or Tranny Hot Mess Dialogue

July 26, 2010 - 8:50 PM

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Shouldn't Have Said It Then | 2 comments

Benutty
On my way to the variety shop oops
Nick
What!!! Girl! Loves it!
Benutty
I need a new bra and some Nyx cosmetics lol. And maybe a few weaves.
Nick
Oh girl. Get me a cheap bra. I’ll pay you back.
Benutty
Just a plain black one? Or flesh?
Nick
Prefer black but whatever will do.
Benutty
K I’m getting black too!!
Nick
Hunns!
Benutty
I’ll bedazzle yours
Nick
No one is going [...]

Recipe for Staying Single: Make a Contract with Your Lover!

July 24, 2010 - 8:14 AM

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments

It wasn’t and never will be classy to make that guy you just started dating two days ago sign a contract of intended commitment! And as evidence of how not classy I was in 2003, here’s an example of a contract I made this one fool Elijah sign!

It reads:
I, Elijah, agree to work in hundred-hundred [...]

Question of the Week (07/20 – 07/26)

July 22, 2010 - 2:15 PM

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Question of the Week | 2 comments

I’d like each of you to give three guesses as to what Gary Jr. might find hiding in his belly flap. Of course if three guesses is not enough, by all means give as many as needed?
A rainbow of things:

UrinalTweet

July 22, 2010 - 12:39 PM

Tags: ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 2 comments

My pee has ne’er smelled more of coffee than it does today. Thank you.

Benutty’s Book Review: Tinkers

July 21, 2010 - 10:53 PM

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in The Bookshelf | 5 comments

(Paul Harding, 2009)
Winner of the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, Tinkers is the story of a man on his deathbed, falling inside himself to recount the memories of his childhood that involve his epileptic father. While sweet in its examination of the trials of life and death, Harding’s simple writing style also gives way to a haunting & melancholy tone. The [...]

An Amazing Amazing Race, or Fall of an Empire!

July 19, 2010 - 12:08 PM

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments

OMG. I’m still in bed because I can’t move. Two days later. Nick’s Amazing Race was truly amazing. He pulled it off way better than I thought the little nugget could and I’m so proud of him. Secretly I think he only wanted to do it so that Gary Jr. and I would be forced [...]

Whorsion of the 3rin

July 18, 2010 - 1:54 PM

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments

You may or may not care know yet, but 3rin is moving in with her boyfriend, JP, and so we’re parting ways as roommates this month. While I was running walking the Amazing Race with Alfie yesterday, she was moving most of her shit out of the apartment.
Pause for backstory:
Last summer when I moved in, [...]

Smelly Like-uh Alcohol

July 16, 2010 - 9:01 AM

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 4 comments

This is what happens when I run out of blue cheese burritos and escape out from under the bridge.
Watch out, auntie-moms.

And don’t think I won’t push a bitch down & outta my way when I’m mad!!

Coz I will.

2010 World Cup Our Balls!

July 13, 2010 - 11:14 PM

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 5 comments

Congratulations to the first ever World Cup Our Balls champions — SPAIN!!! Spain has so many hot players. Villa, Fabregas, Valdes, Casillo, Torres! OMG. But not Puyol. Oops. Definitely the hottest team in the tournament.
Ooooh la la papi come over to mami, yes. Huhhhhnnn cup your balls then spin around like a dancing queen in [...]

Shouldn’t Have Said It Then

July 12, 2010 - 12:44 PM

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Shouldn't Have Said It Then | 4 comments

Nick is a bitch, but Gary Jr. is still mad at me for ruining her and everyone else’s Marina and the Diamonds experience so I had to talk to Nick today.

Monday July 12, 12:30 pm
Benutty
i wanna bring over the strobe light and maybe we can put my performance songs into iMovie and see what we’re [...]

2010 World Cup Our Balls: Hottest Players (THE FINALS!)

July 10, 2010 - 12:02 PM

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 3 comments

The actual World Cup games end this weekend, so it is only fitting (and let’s hope it fits!) that the World Cup Our Balls tournament closes this weekend, too.
The final two teams, United States and Spain, have their hottest three players ready for the showdown.
Who wins, y’all?! Which freaking team is the freaking hottest?
UNITED STATES
Carlos [...]

2010 World Cup Our Balls: Hottest Players (Semifinals)

July 6, 2010 - 8:25 PM

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Posts by Benutty | 4 comments

What!! This shits is almost over (cry, cry) and we’re down to the final four teams, each of whom have thrown up their final hottie to make their way into the finals. In the finals, each team will show the three guys they’ve shown thusfar to help us determine who is the hottest team. Hollerdaise [...]

Nick is a Drunk Bitch

July 4, 2010 - 1:35 AM

Tags:
Posted in Posts by Benutty, Return'd to Sender | 1 comment

That’s right. I said it.
So hat?! Who ares?!