Welcome to our Haus of Hunnies.

And on this farm, you’ll find lots to see. We have pigs, cows, monkeys and there’s even a troll protecting our harvest. You might even spot a Banana or a yoga-bending kitty cat.

But be careful as darkness falls across our land. The 2am hour is close at hand. Farm animals crawl in search of blood and terrorize your neighborhood. The foulest stench is in the air–the funk of forty thousand aunties. And grizzly bears from every barn are closing in to seal your doom. And though you fight to close the site, your nosebleed starts to runnies. For no mere mortal can resist the dead blog of the hunnies.

Enjoy our night creature scrawlings. And for your reference, we present:

A Very Farmy Glossary

A
Alfie – Cock or rooster
Assam! – Awesome
Auntie – Close friend, trying really hard to be best friend, but not quite making it probably coz you’re fat

B
Benutty – Troll
BFD — Big Fat Dick
Bradley — Sheep or Lamb

C
Catan – The game you play during all free time on the Farm
Champes – Fucking champagne you idiot
Cock – Alfie
Cow - Gary Jr.

D
DB – Dumb Bitch
Die – Go away please, or Leave before I throw your stuff over the balcony and kick you out of my party

E
eoh – Abbreviated “Oh” of “Oh huhhnny” typically used by a mami when she has been put in her place by an auntiemami

F
Farm – Home

G
Gary Jr – Cow
Godric – Our maker

H
Huuuuuhhhhhnnnnnn – What do you think about that?, or Perfect, or Of course, or Really?

I
I hate you so much right now – I couldn’t love anyone more than I love you right now

L
Lady GaGa – God
Llama – Shawnito

M
Mami – Best friend
Mess – Drunk, or Wreck of a human
Monkey - Jay

N
Nick – Pig

P
Pig – Nick

S
Sheep or Lamb — Bradley
STG – Swear to God

T
Troll – Benutty

Special characters
. – End of a thought & beginning of a new thought, or Schizophrenia

Numbers
2am – Judgment hour, or Time of death